The likelihood of something bad happening to your infant in the 30 seconds that it takes to walk your cart to the cart return is infinitesimally small.

I bet you could just keep her in the cart until you return it and then carry her to the car!

Left Shark should trademark Katy Perry.

“Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about, please.”

Even Tina Belcher would not like this butt.

everyone loves butts

Also when I was a young teenager (braces, acne, no boobs, maybe 12....?), my much older brother suddenly developed an interest in me, which I thought was nice. He was in his late 20s, which seemed like a “cool” age to be. He wanted to take me out places and I wanted to go, concerts and cool places for lunch etc. He…

Jeeves, my good boy, what is motorboating? Do you know of it?

srsly fuck thongs tho

Really glad someone has a nice non-creepy story!

I was 10. It was Halloween. My mom finally gave in and bought me the $40 pretty witch costume I had begged for the past 3 years. I was so excited! And then my neighbor’s son, who was in his mid-20s, visibly appraised my body and commented that I had “really grown up.” He started coming to the yard that next spring to…

Freshman year of HS, Todd. Sat at a table of complete misfits (but no regrets) at lunch. He was really really into Ben Folds and Oasis. He would print out lyrics/scores to their songs and then re-write them? I’m not sure. The other people at the table would be working on math homework, dissecting SPARK NOTES and one…

I was 9 years old and he told me what he wanted to do to me in vivid disgusting detail in the candy aisle of the grocery store when I left my mom to get a treat for getting good grades. I started crying and ran back to my mom who nearly punched him in the face. Cops were called, nothing was done, he pretended that he…

Despite what MRAs think, I don’t hate men. I really don’t. I know many good, smart, kind men and I know there are millions more out there like them. I have a father I respect, a male partner I adore, men friends who mean the world to me. But when I read threads like this, I have to actively remind myself not to hate…

I was twelve or thirteen, it was the summer, and I saw my seventh grade history teacher at the grocery store. He stopped and looked me up and down, and then said, “Mmm, you’re looking blonde and tan.” Gag. Also I would like to thank middle school boys for ruining forever the experience of eating a banana without…

5th grade (‘90 or ‘91). The boy sitting next to me rubbed the hair on my leg and told me I should shave. I did. My Mom was like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??

yeah but most of those things dont happen to boys* so it doesnt matter

Don't all kids impersonate cats on the weekends? I feel like this is sort of standard kid behaviour. I don't know though. I only have three of them.

I just checked out the collection on target dot com, and I don’t get it. It’s all tacky-floral old lady resort wear. Who would wear this shit?

Ooh, this one will be fun! The first story coming to my mind is one I have told on here before, but I’m sure it will be new to most of you: