Nice to know I'm not part of "everyone." I guess as a non-person I can stop giving a fuck. Whew! Thank God, cause I was really having trouble holding it together.

It's interesting that when full grown white men in college do something criminal, they're 'kids' but when a black 12 year old is gunned down with a BB gun it's his own fault.

So from this part: " Here's a quick reality check: everyone — from Bill Clinton to your grandfather to every Greek organization in the nation does the same old stuff, just as they have been for the entirety of human history."

The fire of indignant, misplaced self-righteousness that looks to ruin people's lives and unjustly ruin reputations is the abuse and violation that should be at the center of discussion

Speaking as a man, I don't see what the big deal is. You don't want us men to rape you women. Fine. We've started cutting back on the rape. Or at least trying. We've even taken your requests to stop beating women so much under consideration.

Ok I don't know why people don't know this but Aretha was a songwriter and composer. She plays piano and penned a bunch of her own hits and songs for other people. Don't do her like that.

I've just had a flashback to my days as a Sbux barista.

Another former barista chiming in to agree that there is no need to make things more chatty.

Barista: "Boy, these race issues sure are something, huh?"

I hated "the name game" when they rolled it out while I worked there (when they ask you your name so the barista can misspell it on your drink). Two stores over, like four years, maybe, and we all just ignored it. The customers who want to chat and get to know the baristas will give their name and ask yours. Other…

Your sister sounds evil.

You're right.

In America we also call that Schadenfreude.

This is like, the ur-example of what "privilege" actually is and I will draw on it forevermore.

Until my current position, the best money I made, on an hourly basis, was as a babysitter for a wealthy family in San Francisco. They would just hand me a fat wad of twenties at the end of the night. And their kids were delightful.

I just Googled him. Nope. Pretty hot in other pictures, too. His bone structure is amazing!

If the Kartrashians can make a career out of a sex tape, then why can't this guy make a go at it off a mugshot. I know I should be outraged, but I ain't mad. Amurica!

CARPET?

"Don't spend your $20 there."

A.k.a., "Eau de Deadspin:"