I hate it! I myself don't eat bacon but love cooking for other people, so if I'm making breakfast for others I cook it. I immediately scrub and wash my hair to get it off.

My university, for some unfathomable reason, will accept MC, Discover, AmEx but NOT Visa. This is a giant university with over 50,000 students.

I swear it's always truck month in Texas, at least according to my radio.

My cat has jumped into my lap while I poop and then kneads my bare legs. It's horrifying.

Jim Cooke is a genius.

Me too.

"Excuse me ladies, I have to touch your leg for a moment. It's to comply with the law, I swear!"

This is honestly the best possible scenario considering the situation.

I just got back from Peru and yeah, there was a distinct absence of toilet paper in most restrooms. This, compounded by the havoc the altitude plays on your digestive system leads to some horrifying stories. My horror story was a bathroom in Lima's Chinatown.

PEE-can makes me laugh.

I'm an ESL speaker with barely any accent left but when I'm speaking in English to another ESL speaker with a heavier accent, I get a heavier accent. It's strange.

I love this shirt.

I had a dog that ate all the magnetic letters I had on the fridge except for JK HOE. I found it insulting.

It's a pig with lipstick and that's even better than a regular pig.

First, they came for the ketchup and I didn't say anything because I don't eat ketchup...

Less potential for penis bruises.

That is the best kind of choir.

That sucks! Usually when I get them they're waaaaay too hot, but then again, I live in an area with a lot of students so they have to constantly make fresh cheese sticks.

Have you tried Sonic? They're usually pretty good, the cheese is always warm and gooey!

I did Zumba with a friend, collided against her. She went down and I just kept on grape-vining in the opposite direction from everyone else.