While questing in Searing Gorge, I happened upon a quest mob with 26k hp. Took me 6 minutes (two shadowfiend cooldowns) to kill it. It wasn’t fun, but it had to be done.

The only time I have regretted using salted butter was making lemon curd. It wasn’t inedible, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t right, either.

Except this is kind of news, as I logged in last night and was really confused as to how my capped-at-100 characters were getting XP because I can’t afford to upgrade right now.

Can we also put his children in cages and lose their paperwork?

Hey now, show the Coasties some love.

As a former UPS employee, we were wearing brown first!

“Ambien”!

I would throw so much money at whatever company wanted to bring back early 2000s wide-leg cargo pants for women. I am not ashamed.

They’re awful. Campari tastes like cough syrup.

Pecked to death by a convocation of bald eagles.

All day today when people have said “OMG you share a birthday with Trump!” my grumpy-ass answer has been “Well that’s not MY fault.”

I can hear that stunning voice just reading the lines. I need to watch that movie again.

I hope someone will call the cops in time to stop him from hurting me. It’s happened before.

This vindicates every argument I’ve ever had that cupcakes are breakfast food. You can’t say yes to donuts and no to cupcakes.

I hate to be that guy, but “Also, shot out Rudy Giuliani for making the president look like the smartest man in the White House.” should be shout. Nobody wants to get Secret Serviced (okay, I don’t know if the president’s lawyer gets a detail) for a typo.

Hey now, don’t you put that on France. France has cheese and wine. Texas has... Texans.

This is exactly how I feel about it. It took me two blocks on a sunny Seattle summer day (yes, those did happen sometimes) to go through the smear of Monistat gel and back to Pain Square One. Luckily, two blocks from my work was a Target, where I immediately purchased bike shorts...

Bodyslide by one!

Speaking from experience - I have attended 4 Blizzcons and managed to pick up tickets myself each time - set everything up as much as you can as far as payment and account information, then hit F5 a lot. Start early because I’ve had it pop more than ten minutes prior to their supposed start time.

I like to ask them to turn off the lights so that I can cry silently without anyone seeing me, then after I finish the presentation, run into the bathroom and vomit. It worked really well for 8 years of intelligence briefings.