😂

In the UK growler is slang for vulva and I have no idea what it means in your post.

“He walks in, sits down, and is obviously so nervous that he cannot even speak. So I tell him we can sit and have a drink, no worry about talking, once he’s relaxed we can talk.”

So, I had this friend with strong asshole tendencies (the sort who would have your back for emergencies but spend the rest of their time laughing at your clothes, music, opinions, etc... I’m not really friends with him anymore), and one day out of the blue he asks me if I’d be interested in dating women. Well, uh, I ha…

Picture it, DC 2011. I meet a guy on OKCupid. He demands we go to Zola. The initial contact is friendly though he is scanning my body.He knows I work at a non-profit museum and proceeds to ask me “who do you know in the non-profit world?” I respond with “eh which non-profit world?” He then tells me he’s going to start…

So weird, I’m literally watching that movie right now as I’m reading this.

It’s like Ted Cruz’s home planet keeps sending interns to infiltrate us but they absolutely cannot handle the assignment.

First (and only) date with a girl I knew in Atlanta, we went and saw Thor (the first one) at a movie theatre where her ex was apparently the manager. Strike one. Strike two was when we were in the car and I was about to drive her home when she blurts out, “So, should I like blow you now, or whatever...?” Uh, WHAT?! I…

I met a guy through some friends. We were vibing hard until a friend we were with made some little joke that made light of the fact that I’m Jewish. He turned cold and said “Your Jewish? Like... how Jewish?” I responded “Jewish enough.” Turns out he used to run with skinheads and had neo-nazi tattoos. I think it was…

Forgive me for laughing; what an appalling date.

He offered to make me dinner. What he made was boxed mac-n-cheese with added broccoli and immense amounts of curry powder.

So it’s nice when people on Tinder come up with a funny intro instead of

OK. I have read all of these accounts. I don’t think that the tradition Halloween Scary Stories are necessary now. This is the real (terrifying) shit.

Met a guy at a play - we were both there alone, started chatting, he was very charming and handsome and good at flirting. He asked for my number, and we made a plan to have drinks a few days later.

How do some of these sound so much like failed auditions for being humans?

Met up with a girl fat her place for a Friday night first date after a while of back and forth via a dating website. She was still doing her hair, so I hung out in the front room and we chatted each other up as her preparations would allow. Ignoring the fact we were strangers and she had me meet her at her home,…

We went to see Interstellar...which is 3 hours long. It was our second date attempt, as he cancelled the week before for a parkour meetup. Dinner after at about 11pm, where he kept talking about the hiking trip he took with his brothers that really “made him a man”. He was 25ish. The trip? Last summer.

The servers…

We met online. We share an unusual fairly nerdly hobby so I felt sure we would get along. He was an hour late because he was taking Uber and had a complete misunderstanding of where the bar was.

Bad tinder date: Guy did not tell me he was legally blind (not important but is relevant to this next part), so, as a result, he informed he needed to sit VERY close to my face so he could see me WHILE HE HAD THE FLU. So here is this guy, sitting intentionally close to my face, while he has the plague, coughing and…