I never said it was my Malibu.

Nice of Andy Reid to make it back in time after spending the night delivering all those presents.

Almost any movie with bad reviews can still make money, but not Oscar Bait. Some of the most profitable movies of the last decade were absolutely torn to shreds by critics, but the public didn’t care. It’s only when your movie seems pretentious or serious or emotionally manipulative that people really take into…

When this motherfucker has the best take of the bunch, you know they fucked up.

You guys are reading Deadspin (and the cohort they represent) for filth and I am here for it.

He was just trying to warn Donald!

Someone painted, “pumpkin spice is people” outside my starbucks.

I had been dating this guy for a few months, and after a relative’s funeral, I met him for drinks (beer and wings). We went back to my place, eventually went to sleep, and I woke up in the middle of the night and was immediately violently ill. No time to even turn my head. I threw up chicken wings and beer all over…

you go to a junior collenge

it’s just a picture of legs that cuts to an image of a man standing in a burning house and he has a goat head and his eyes are the black of the void and then it cuts back to an image of legs with paint on them and then it’s the goat headed man and he’s closer to the foreground and I can smell sulfur and then it cuts…

“I’m so very sorry, but when we were stitching you up Dr. WTF sewed his finger to your labia. It didn’t worsen the tear, but fluids mixed and we do need to do an HIV test. After we re-sew.”

my obgyn once delivered a baby that was HOLDING ONTO THE IUD THAT TRIED TO THWART IT.

Did the mom at least give the new kid a chance? Maybe he was much better than her own kid! Upgrades!

Seems to be how it works in real life too

Sploosh

MitsuBEEshi.

Act superior if you want, but as someone who doesn't know who Billy Bush is, I feel like the real winner here.

ok