Haha, the part that doesn’t make sense to me is the way things arbitrarily go viral. I smiled at the voice for sure, and Daniel seems like a good natured dude.....but who outside of Daniel’s social circle was sharing this? I also didn’t think we were due for Vans to be cool again yet!

I, while old and uncool, actually think this is really adorable. Teens messing around/teasing while being nice and having everyone enjoy themselves is a nice thing to see get a little Internet popularity. I’ve worked with teens and they are weird as Fuck, so while I don’t GET this, I do sort of appreciate it and think…

Hey Moo ! 60 minute Dogfish Ale.

I also finished a tube of Chapstick without losing it for the first time in my life,

It’s a little more than “not exactly what happened.”

Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

I am confused. Why would I force a person to play basketball with me if he/she was dressed like a basketball player? Does that happen? Forced basketballery?

I’d agree if he didn’t have a history of ragging on her. He obviously has a problem with her personally so that invalidates his comment.

Because tweeting support for one female artist wouldn’t be complete without throwing another one under the bus.

She’s still valuable because some people find that sexy and she has nice boobs. If that’s not progress, I don’t know what is.

And that why, even though I’m an absolutely rabid sports fan, I canceled my subscription years ago. If you can only be bothered to recognize half of the population during one issue, the whole point of which is to objectify them, I’m out.

I dunno....I think his lips are ok

I care about Octo’s boner. As should we all! Won’t someone think of the boners!?

If it's real, legitimate impotence the male body has a way of preventing it on its own. Anything else and they must have allowed it or enjoyed it, so no need to provide medication.

I’m confused. Does that mean eat her pussy like she’s really old or like, the last supper, she just got finished with a Passover Seder and is probably really exhausted and drunk?

Which pair?

I’ve got to go with #DoesHeLickItFromTheFrontToTheBack. Cuz I just can’t deal with another UTI right now.

Maybe before jumping to the conclusion that I’m a person who loathes Hillary and is calling her a cunt and then freaking out about it, you should consider the possibility that I’ve got nothing against her and this is a lyrical substitution of a well-known Kelis song parodying the whole Berniebro phenomenon in the…

Ah yes, shall we just return to the mashed potato and twist to satisfy your generational needs?

Yes he is. I was right and you were wrong. Deal with it.