One - sane can never understand crazy, I’ve accepted that while I may seem it, I am, in fact, not crazy... thus I cannot understand men who are lunatics and say that kind of shit. I do not have a filter - I mean I do, but I must have A LOT more thoughts than most people (my brain is always going) because the shit that…

I find that most wouldn’t dare speak in front of their mothers like that. It’s more “with the boys” or “don’t let mom know” or “locker room” talk that just spreads everywhere BUT with their mothers. Don’t get me wrong here - I know some “golden boys” can do no wrong (think Danny DeVito’s mom in Goodfellas) in their…

Haha - I try to be well-rounded in my description - like a sommelier going through each note of a wine. Upside of being me vs. a sommelier? I can get drunk and it gets more creative... if they’re drunk, they’re doing it wrong.

Dude, it’s the one thing I REALLY love about the Internet - exposing and lambasting the utter fuckery that has become (always was?) the male gender. My favorite was when a female blogger went beyond public humiliation and called/contacted their mothers. From now on - when this shit happens IRL, I’m going to play…

After having a total fucking stranger ask me if I like to stick cigarettes in my lady parts (his word choice, not mine) - I have given up trying to fathom wtf goes through men's minds let alone the actual stupidity it takes to let some of it come out of their brains and get documented for some (poor souls) to see.

ByeFelipe is an Instagram dedicated to this very kind of conversation. The amount of material they have to work with is genuinely disappointing.

My 89 year old grandma is aging more gracefully than this douchecanoe and she's balding. She also belongs to 13 bridge clubs and has a better social life than I do.

You're far too gracious - he looks like he smells like belly button smegma, 4 times used and unwashed socks, and someone's piss after they eat asparagus.

He looks like a 4 day old pot roast left on the counter. Youngish? Compared to who - the crypt keeper?

Actually the language is common - it's typically consistent with the elements of the alleged act (knowingly, recklessly, with utter disregard for human life, maliciously, etc.) or words that would allude to the elements of whatever is trying to be shown or denied.

Of course he does. They’re probably single men his age who live in their parents basement and they’d be willing to urinate in a bottle for 9 days straight during a halo tournament and regularly use the phrases “friend zone” and “nice guys finish last” because even the women they pay for sex don't want a Cleveland…

I was? Why didn’t my mother get the memo?

Kings Island - only time I got to go to Cedar Point was when my friends parents would take me or as a school trip. Yes, that was my life.

Dear Lindsay,

Oh fuck that - I’m from Ohio, I was wanted and happily carried to term, and the best I got was a day-pass to universal studios in FL. No fucking Disney World for them.

They sell those for lawyers (it’s a federal reporter hollowed out - so very innocuous as to just put it on a shelf) and this case is a prime example why.

To be fair - Paul Ryan pretty much said equally terrible shit, took some dudebro campaign pictures, and his career is pretty much him either getting rid of or passing (I can’t remember and I legit don’t care enough to look) an excise tax on arrowheads used for bow hunting and that motherfucker is now the Speaker of…

Cue the male tears. Of fucking course he somehow finds a way to make it about the menz.

“Everyone agrees with me to some point now”... Nope. Nope. Nope. Sorry Hitler 2.0 - not all of us are xenophobic, Islamaphobic, fascist dictators filled with bloodlust and walking around with a rage boner all the time.

Listen, I’m not going to drag you... but I want you to ponder this... do you actually want to make your child feel/be obligated to call you or do you want him to interact with you because he respects you, appreciates you, and GENUINELY wants to talk to you? Controlled contact is bound to create some kind of resentment…