It’s even better if you mix up the letters. ‘This Nate Peterman Is Growing On Me’ in an anagram for ‘Warmongering Penis Neath Some Tit’

This is 100% a location question.

7-11? Someone fannnnncy.

Because Carmelo Anthony is a delusion diva and James Dolan is a fucking idiot.

That bus is a sad monument to a sad story.

So they were cursed because they didn’t play on some ancient burial grounds?

I have to say, as a non-Yankee fan, this systematic destruction of Jeter’s carefully crafted public image - largely at his own hands - pleases me greatly.

Your logic is infallible - we hereby award you the Arizona Cardinals.

The Bucs suck so blandly they aren’t even the worst run pirate-themed NFL team to have hired Jon Gruden.

I wasn’t a big football fan in 1994 but I played a lot of Madden ‘94. My chief takeaway from that game, accurate or not, was that the Bucs were god-awful and it was a lot of fun to play as them while beating up on the computer, thus demonstrating my superior Madden skills.

Well to be fair, there wasn’t a black man involved. 

I remember when I first saw Fitzpatrick in that outfit I couldn’t figure out why Connor McGregor was giving a press conference for the Bucs

I stepped on a crack and now my mother is a paraplegic and we can't put her in a home because of the opioid addiction and the fact that she cheats at cards. 

You don’t fucking say.

Hopefully just a simple misunderstanding. I often mistakenly omit words from a text. It can cause problems if you’re meaning to text, “Show me your Beaver spirit!”

No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.

Sometimes I read these and think “Wow, Magary’s really funny. He made all these jokes and exaggerations about the Ravens/Bears/Seahawks/Whoever. He’s so clever, that Drew. Ha ha ha ... so, so funny. Deadspin is really lucky to have him. Guffaw”

It looks like Kessel removed most of the furniture in the home theater, including the popcorn machine and the hot dog cart. 

It’s the stitching on these new baseballs. The cord works in mysterious ways.

You’re not an intelligent person and nobody values anything you have to say.