Unfortunately for the A’s, she is already leaning toward entering the 2023 NFL draft.

I think it’s pretty shitty of her high school to sell ad space at the diamond to white supremacy groups from seven surrounding counties. It’s not the message we should be giving to kids, and it takes away from her accomplishment.  Sad.

“But, what if what we think of as ‘suborbital space’ is the brain sac of an EXTRAgalactic being? Then couldn’t we TUNNEL into his vein with our ELECTRIC tangerine submarine to get where we want to go?”

I wanna be sedated.

The erection you had writing this must have been mastiff. 

I get it, man. Waiting on lab results is a harrowing experience. 

Hey, despite his perennial fall collapses, never forget that Chris Sale is a guy with a great attitude and a killer work ethic, unlike that pain in the ass David Price, who is just so entitled and lazy! No sir, there’s definitely nothing problematic about these commonly held options at all—not with Boston’s fan base. […

cats are a semi-regular occurrence at Sajik, interrupting Lotte Giants games every once in a while

I guess Faith isn’t that uncommon, but I’m struggling to figure out how this guy met a stripper named Family. 

The greatest tragedy of the cell phone age is making novelty phones shaped like cats and footballs obsolete. 

Jason Garrett clapped when they were done taking the photo. I guarantee it.

Yeah, it’s only for a day. Think about the poor guys who have to spend their whole lives in Syracuse.

“Donald Trump continued his fight with John McCain, who continues to be dead.”

Wait, Sarah Jessica Parker’s daughter was accepted already?

“She didn’t have a lot of talent, she was just kind of a horse. But she was my horse,” Bernstein said, adding, “and she had just been accepted at USC!”

Red & Green are the New Orange

Throwing away their chance to make A Prison Christmas.

Two teams I loathe - the Steelers and the Giants - are self-immolating for the dumbest of reasons, while at least one team I wish nothing but the best for - the Browns - is on the upswing? This is so delicious, it has to be fattening.

Don’t forget, Deadspin’s greatest two way threat.