Because we are in Hell.

The problem is our stories only have merit when corroborated by men. 

Um, I think these old white guys know a little bit more about the emotions that female victims of sexual assault go through than the actual victims, thank you very much.

Just like it took a Churchill (mean old drunk and imperialist) to fight a Hitler, it takes the likes of Avenatti to fight Trump. Tepid operators like Schumer and Perez aren’t going to cut it.

Two women accusing each other? My, my, my. Who’s a conservative to disbelieve?

That’s either a really big salad bowl, or a really small man... 

I wonder if his brother will be charged. 

At least he was able to fulfill his childhood dream of being a conductor on a train.

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

This is really going to complicate his supreme court confirmation hearing in 2052.

Best Bachelor party I’ve ever been to was an all-day smoking class that taught us how to smoke an entire pig: ribs, shoulder, sausages, plus chicken and sides. You tended the fire and drank all day, then ate like kings as everything came off the smoker throughout the day before passing out at 8:30 PM thanks to a full…

I’m calling it now: The Browns are going 0-0-16 this season. 

While this was disturbing, it is refreshing to see a young evangelical lead with his head for a change.

> But it seems to me that virtually any ignorance about the felony sex crimes committed by your friend of five years is willful ignorance.

You misspelled “kwee-ah”

Why would they use some foreign shit like Occam’s razor when they can buy a quality Gillette blade made right there in Southie?

Those who suffer from mental health issues are stigmatized enough. We are not helping if we add to their burden the stigma of wearing a Chinese knock-off Goskowski jersey, they got on clearance at Dicks on a Tuesday morning.

Missing the playoffs to own the libs.

Deadspin: I can’t believe someone paid $3,000 for a single fan.