This actually happened in a restaurant!

Our family tradition at Christmas is to go out Christmas Eve for lunch at a greasy spoon, be polite to the server, and leave a $100 tip in cash. It’s kind of selfish, actually— we all get to feel super altruistic, and we race to get out before the server finds the cash and feels like they need to thank us.

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

Nice that these are for the most part positive stories of celebrities who haven’t let their fame turn them into entitled assholes. The Kevin Smith one in particular was awesome. (and poor Salman Rushdie! I both laughed and felt bad for laughing.)

Not directly related, but I always found interesting how Colonel Sanders (or “Uncle Kentucky” as he’s known in Japan) is viewed in Japan.

My favorite anecdote is how celebrating Hanshin Tigers Baseball fans threw a local Colonel Sanders prop into a river after winning the Japan Series title in 1985... prompting a…

“My kid wouldn’t BE in that situation, because we raised him/her the right way”

Imagine a cop did this to your kid. In fact, imagine anyone did this to your kid.

This is the guy where you go out for “a quick drink,” and wake up on a beach in Tijuana, clad only in thong, sombrero, and sunburn, apparently newly wed to a suspect Frenchman.

“THE CHURCH IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE”

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

I believe I can speak for all of us when I say, “Fuck Church Groups”

Are... Are you my Grandmother?

i was a ridiculously whiny little turd who ate approximately 3 types of beige foods as a child (and if they touched on my dinner plate oh dear lord, how I howled and went hungry that night). thankfully, as a teenager (and a vegetarian), I quickly grew out of my pickiness; and through experimentation, discovered a love…

My parents also enabled my picky eating habits. I am not an asshole about it, but I do genuinely regret that I only eat a small number of foods. I’m almost 30 and I still don’t eat any vegetables (other than pickles, I suppose.) I feel that I could be healthier and more energetic if I ate better, but my palate hasn’t…

In a Mexican restaurant.

“Dip” to me implies cheese or sour cream (optionally + flavorings, in either).

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”

I put bacon on my toast & jam, so I get the whole sweet and salty thing, but grape jelly on pizza just sounds horrible on all five sensory levels, even sound. I’d try it for Science, but I’m crazy like that.

DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT EAT PINKHAM YOU DON’T OWN ME

I have actually always wondered if there was enough ammonia in urine to do that. Thank you! Glad your Mom made it out of there okay.