Dogs bark, ducks quack and babies cry.

Eh, that’s a bridge too far for me. I was once in the window seat with a toddler and a dad in the aisle. Dad took a sleeping pill and passed out for the entire 11 hour red-eye. I had a meeting the next morning and basically spent the entire flight trying to prevent this kid from fucking with me and stopping him from…

Its your entitlement that deems that woman having to give out earplugs, etc. to other passengers. People like seem to fucking think the entire world just bend like a reed to your screaming fucking monsters you refuse to do anything about, I pay over 700 dollars for a trip that is over 8 hours long I am also entitle to…

Going to go eat breakfast before work so that time doesn’t slow down and make my day feel even longer than it already is. Thank for the hot tip, digital bros.

My important takeaway from Average Anna was that her husband needed to contribute more around the house, and stop taking her for granted. Maybe if he would talk at the dinner table instead of playing with his phone, she wouldn’t be so likely to have an affair, I’m just saying.

She must’ve married a guy like Mike Pence. Poor thing.

It sounds like Average Anna has a pretty good time until she gets married and has kids.  That was obviously her mistake.

He’ll be confirmed, Roe v Wade and gay marriage will be overturned, and if the Blue Wave doesn’t happen, we’ll be in Gilead by this time next year.

For context, here is his full Montana speech

lmfao FUCK im going to hell

Was that what this gentleman’s face looked like before or after being poisoned?

Fuck quilting when I could be, you know...not breathing. 

Oh my fucking god. The persecution complex is so fucking REAL with these assholes. 

Lloyd argued that women shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to give birth:

Now, see, if you drag him behind a dumpster, and beat the shit out of him with a baseball bat that is still in it’s packaging, it’s not assault. Because you didn’t take the weapon out of it’s packaging. So it’s not REAL assault.

I have a wee hunch that it is somewhat of understatement.

I’m starting to think Roseanne is a bit of an unpleasant individual.

This is just the first step towards other dystopian game shows like Wheel of Food Stamps, Bowling for Chemo and Who Wants to Get a Kidney Transplant? It’ll be The Running Man before you know it.

This is because Marco Rubio is a fuckless cunt.

I diagnose her with a case of batshit