When Lipinski quietly said into the mic, “She is blind, and he is showing her the world,” I said “NOOOOOPE.” so loud, one of my kids got out of bed to investigate.

Results I would have liked to see:

I get that everyone is hot for Virtue/Moir but the SHIBSIBS WERE ROBBED. They’re the most technical dancers and don’t have to rely on SeXinEss/We’re Just SO IN LOVE to convey emotion/impress you with their dancing ability.

Note: I am a virologist, not a nurse or MD.

‘President Tang’ made me giggle, a lot.

As an added wrinkle, there’s a shortage of saline bags. They’re made in Puerto Rico. Thanks, President Tang!

My ex recently started dating someone new. They’re in the honeymoon phase, I’m alone and bitter over how easy it was for him to move on. Hell yes I’m spending new years alone! I’m not going to inflict this mood on anyone else. Also, seeing happy couples kissing at midnight might makes me do regrettable things so I’m…

No. It’s code for “When dad left and had a second family we didn’t completely reject them. Even though they’re black! Where’s our medal??”

Fuck the police. I have nothing else to say.

Moore is sending out a lot of mixed messages here. The faux “cowboy” outfit - Moore wears a black cowboy hat, in the terms of old Western movies, he’s marking himself as the bad guy- the Marlboro Man sheepskin jacket, the cowboy boots so that he can wear heels.

i swear to the non existant god(s) that if you idiot americans elect this child molesting monster I’m going to spit in the face of any american that visits my country (and then run away like a coward). The fact that this shit stain of humanity can even run for office is criminal and immoral beyond measure.

When the horse was asked if she would be voting for Moore, she responded, “neigh”.

Soooo.... am I the first to mention that Sassy was once the name of a popular magazine for teenage girls?

Hi ho Silverstein, away!

By the looks of it, the horse is biracial, and thus, “one of the good ones.”

Were going to find out the Sassy was a stallion who sowed his oats in Vietnamese whorehouses during the war.

Yeah, but is the horse Jewish?

come on, please for the love of JC someone tell me a loud “Fuck You and the horse you rode in on ...” was heard throughout the land ...

Maybe men and women shouldn’t have children during this time if it’s such a grueling schedule. Life isn’t fair, choices have to be made.