This LAZBOY is just a tremendous chair, really, I have one and I have the best chairs, the most respected chairs. We’re having an affair.

“I’ll take you out for steaks” is only second to “I’ll take you out for furniture”.

So, to summarize, Donald Trump is probably Jabba the Hutt.  

Don’t forget furniture shopping.

Think this was the landslide he was hoping for?

I take this extremely seriously and I feel so heartbroken for this reporter.

Hey Trump spokesman, when your guy BRAGS about doing exactly this it’s not really ridiculous to consider he might have done it.

It bears repeating

This predictable Cosbian explosion of women is why I sometimes love the internet.

Holy shit, you weren’t joking.

has tremendous respect for 10 year olds on escalators

I’m honestly not sure how we get through this election without an on-camera suicide.

And if the little girl was 10 in 1992, she’s now a decrepit 34, and only has one year left before she’s too old for Donald.

Gross. Looks like there might even be a handful of women tweeting ‘repeal the 19th’ (and i assume they are not all Ann Coulter) - do those twits have any idea what ‘repeal the 19th’ even means?

Oh, come on. He didn’t say anything about this girl he wouldn’t say about his own daughter.

I feel like it would be a good idea for everyone in the country to talk to a therapist when this election is over.

Not only objectifying women but also girls.

Hey guys, I’m starting to think that this Trump guy might not respect women.

Contestant: [watches video above]

I’m sure if he offered them his dessert for a month his half brothers would’ve gotten him a real one.