If you did in fact fall into a deep coma in the weeks after 9/11, welcome to 2019.

LOVE Thoughts of Dog. It’s so pure and makes me smile every time.

Same. There are so many things to be angry at these days, but the sheer SMUG and ENTITLEMENT radiating out of this boy really gets to me. I just want to believe that future generations won’t be like this, but... this one gets me both sad and rage-y.

That sounds... pretty great, actually. I tried to do the same thing - kept telling myself that the days in between Christmas and New Year’s are bonus days and nobody gets anything done.

Chris Evans seems to be about two seconds away from putting on the Captain America suit to fight him every time he tweets, so you might not be that far off.

By batting my eyelashes at a nice fellow who would offer to carry them, of course. Simple!

My dad always told me that too, and then after college I had a roommate who was APPALLED that I hauled my own groceries back from the store. “How are you going to find a boyfriend if you do everything yourself?!” she asked me. She wasn’t born and raised in the US, for what that’s worth, but I just couldn’t understand…

God, you can SEE the monkey clanging its symbols around inside his head in that photo.

Well I have to say that I’m pretty excited to have that image haunt my dreams this week.

So worth it. You get a king bed in a nice clean room with a bathroom all to yourself, and then you add your choice of dinner and self-care. Bonus points if the hotel has big fluffy bathrobes. 

• If you want to read about the book release party for the Mooch’s book, well, here ya go. Spoiler: There are a lot of finance bros. [New Yorker]

It’s never easy, but over time it does get easier. Love and strength to you. I ended a long relationship after trying to support him through years of anxiety and depression and drinking, which brought on my own anxiety issues. Two years later I’m healing and taking care of myself - which isn’t easy but it’s SO much…

Agree. I like to think I’m a somewhat-informed person, but it is stunning how many things I didn’t pay attention to or didn’t really know about the government and the office of the presidency before 2017.

I take a certain petty joy in the fact that no matter how much money she has, Ivanka’s hair always looks a little greasy, stringy, or flat.

You made my day with that reference.

God, I hope someone shows up with a tuba tomorrow. This video is great. DC high schools have some pretty good marching bands, though I would never want them to go near these knuckledraggers.

What a lovely thing to do, and twice even. Thank you for restoring my faith in humanity for an evening. <3

I can see how that’d be annoying for the school... but, free tampons!

Thank you, too! Cooking for yourself is sometimes worse though, right? Like, why bother, it’s just me, I can eat this coffee cake standing over the sink at 8pm and it’s fine. Ha.

I feel this so hard. Been getting home from work and parking myself on the couch, and then all of a sudden it’s way too late and I gotta drag my butt to work in the morning.