The Iliad don’t got shit on this post holy fuck

Thank you! You hit on all the reasons why carpet is a terrible standard for automotive flooring (especially in trucks and vans/minivans). It surprises me that carpeting is not treated as a luxury option. After all, old advertisements often used to try to entice customers with “wall-to-wall carpeting” as if it was some…

“moistly besmirched”

I'm nominating you for a Pulitzer, Torch.

And yet it will be the best show on TV (again).

On the plus side, this will mark the first time a shitshow features actual shit.

Did Andre Johnson punch you and/or Cortland in the face when he heard about this project?

I can’t shake the feeling that her tits and her hair have something to do with her managing to get elected to the post of Florida AG, and now she’s being exposed as the victim of a form or political Peter Principle. Like her tits took her one step too far.

“No need for a concealed carry permit.”

Why don’t I just release my Time Warner billing statements from the last year? They’re sure to contain just as many intentionally-misleading statements, lies, errors, omissions, and general bullshittery as these unreleased documents will.

I find I can get a lot of mileage when I talk to my other friends who watch with “that one dude with the face and the hair??”

Oh my gawd! Now begins my other favorite contest: which of these awful men will end up on bachelor in paradise??

Adding orgies to the list of things you probably shouldn’t buy at a discount, like plastic surgery or sushi.

Get to da hoppah!