Dad???

Your spelling. CRIES.

Get off the internet, rational sensible good idea guy. No room for you here.

You sound hot. Sext me.

I solved that problem. :-)

/faps without shame

I would gladly and easily vote to convict on first degree aggravated sexual assault, if I were on a jury and this story was the evidence. Guilty, guilty, guilty. Next please.

I’m not a complete novice on the topic but I’m definitely the dumbest & least educated on the subject out of anybody in these comments (shit, why can’t ALL Gawker Media comment threads be this intelligent and interesting???) Your comment is the first I’ve heard that. Interesting.

I’m confused...your old handle was the same as your new handle?

This mandates many, many more stars.

Holy fucking shit. Why don’t you just fucking quit your day job and patrol every fucking word in the dictionary? Fuck you, brainless Jezebel cunt. Why a site with some of the best writing on Gawker Media has such retarded (word selection purposeful) commenters is beyond me. Fuck you, fuck your thought police…

No, we can’t. Why? Because your choice of words is telling. You’re not being the retirement fairy. You’re being the word police. And I’m fucking sick of it. So are others. I know this sounds utterly contradictory, but I mean what I’m about to say sincerely on both counts: no offense, but fuck you.

Ghetto. Retard. And…

S/he wasn’t joking, just letting you know how much more glamorous and modern their life is compared to the victims in this article. Aren’t you glad to know that now about that commenter?

I’m really sick of the stealth, subtle snobbery behind that remark. Not everybody lives your life. Not everybody lives in the same city as you. Taxis in my city are cash only. Bodegas only accept debit cards for purchases above $10. Etc.

You know, if you’d said something like “me personally, my life at this point is…

+1

It’s possible with enough tenure. My best friend is in his 20th year teaching in a city high school and is now in the low six figures, but he works HARD for the money. So hard for it, honey.

Hi, I’m from the future. Sadly, nothing. :-(

PS: Donald Trump becomes president in 2016.

The guy at the end shouting “it’s about time!” was the worst part. That was all I needed to know about that guy. Nasally voice, overshouting, stating the obvious. We can’t be friends, go away please. Maybe if he good weed we could be friends.

It was indeed a legitimate guess. It was also wrong. Bzzzzzz.

Girls are icky.