Pro-tip: Don’t eat at the restaurant that you don’t trust to cook your food.

Yes, fine dining rooms cook everything under what the general public believes. It is weird. Some places do it so that f someone bitches they can cook t 2 more minutes and not have food waste. Rare n a steakhouse will be seared but still able to shake your hand.

you’re probably not going to get hassled

What fucks me up with big spiders is the thought of the resistance the body would offer when stomping on it. With a regular spider, you put your foot down and it’s over. No way a tarantula doesn’t: A- crunch, and B-require a second movement to kill it. Now the spider is still alive because you didn't complete the…

I’m as pro weed as the next guy but 3 and 4 years old seems a little too young for joints. 

I saw a Discovery (or whatever) Channel where they talked about some guy exploring deep into caves, hundreds (thousands?) of years ago using reed torches.

Safer than letting them explore Youtube.

Most steaks eaten our are consumed in places like Applebee’s or, at best, Outback. Your experience in a high-end steakhouse probably isn’t indicative of the overall numbers, unfortunately.

They’re not for the kid.  They are for the mom.

When, and why, did first birthday parties become a thing? Some friends of ours are having one, and my wife said that if we ever have kids, we will do it too.  She said it like it was obvious.

Sorry, I’m not a graphic designer.

Here’s the solution to NFL overtime. I call it Chicken* (sponsored by KFC). Both teams come out to midfield, and they flip a coin to decide who gets to speak first. The key is that overtime is only one drive. The team that wins the coin toss gives a yardage that they think they can score from on the drive. The other…

I used to be a grill cook in a high end steakhouse. I’d say 75-80% of steaks were medium or less. Medium rare is by far the most popular.

Cows are really dumb.  It was probably thinking “Chew, Chew, Fart, Chew.”

I’m probably closer to giving up eating mammals, knowing full well that they are tastier than birds. (Duck is delicious, but too infrequent to compensate for the advantage of pork and beef over chicken and turkey.) But they’re also cuter than birds. I was walking through the countryside on vacation, passing near…

YES! My husband understands the tweezers hierarchy as:
1. The GOOD tweezers. MY tweezers. They were hand milled in England and were designed to put together dollhouse miniatures. I won’t even tell him where they are.
2. The back-up good tweezers that have been lost for 6 months but I still hold out hope they can be…

I earnestly believe that a sincere desire to be President should automatically disqualify someone from being eligible. We need some kind of nomination process.

Ted Cruz run for office in the hopes that one day his children will respect him and hug him back one day.  

spiderman meme dot gif

“Fake shoes!"