“calling in an airstrike to destroy three national monuments absolutely crosses a line.”

The southeastern united states is the center of the BBQ universe. Grilling is for yuppies who drive the Porsche Cayenne or another crossover-4-door-small-penis-but-have-a-family-anyway douche canoe. People who “Grill” in the south should be tube-fed shrimp and grits until they die.

has anyone pointed out that a diver getting paid less than $100k to find a $100k diamond earring is never going to find it, even if he finds it?

Thank you for starting my morning off with a laugh - much appreciated.

A V in the face is always personal.

Is ESPN the NFL’s hype-man?

I understand that these things can be nuanced, but the reason your profession exists is because men and women are bad at picking up on each other’s nuances. This article reads like the communication breakdown is the man’s fault and only the man’s fault. Total bullshit. No guy starts a relationship as…

Mitch betta have my bunny.

There’s some douche math to be done here. First, he’s wearing a Red Sox cap (X). Second, he’s on the west coast wearing a red sox cap (Y) . Third, the Red Sox are not playing (Z). Fourth, he’s wearing a Yeungling shirt (A). Finally, he loses the foul ball and then hold’s Gonzales’ glove like he’s fighting for a…

"I've discovered that Canadians are just as ...[bad] as Americans are. Which is disappointing." Don't worry, the fact that your outrage includes a contemptuous comparison to the states makes it super-Canadian and makes up for the misogyny that you previously assumed only existed in the place where all bad things begin…

Tim Marchman - turd. Hope that was short enough for him to read.

Heroin makes you fat. They should've all known to choose the coke.

Ray Rice is the Tobias Funke of the NFL.

There are mirror neurons in her brain that start developing between ages 1-3, about the time they start parroting facial expressions, words, and movements. You've probably noticed this, therefore your actions are probably less about stuperstitions and more about an understanding that she will be naturally inclined to…