“I just had a flashback to the first time I did acid and watching Kindergarten Cop somehow happened.”

I’m starting to think Kelly’s position on limiting Ivanka and Jared’s access to him is part of a strategy to get him to blow himself up. She’s been his handler for years and he’s the only one who can talk him down—it’s no coincidence this conference took place when he was tired and sundowning and they weren’t there.

I’m going to guess they’re going to trot out Mitch McConnell to say

It’s only been 7 months. This seriously needs to stop. And to all of the people claiming that Trump is the lesser of two evils or that he and Hillary were the same....

The people waving Nazi flags and throwing Nazi salutes think the Holocaust was awesome and want to repeat everything their idols inflicted on the world.

There are a lot of mediocre white male losers commenting today.

Hey Justin, just a thought here... maybe you want to dismiss the Nazi apologists on here so Jalopnik doesn’t resemble the darkest corners of Reddit so much? Thanks!

“Unintended acceleration!” cries the dbag.

Given a good portion of them are saying racist things, including actual WWII era Nazi slogans, I’d say the ones who are “protectin muh herituge” might be in the wrong crowd.

I think the presumptive explanation for anything in this administration is “Trumpian stupidity.” However, I do think he’d love to have a shooting war, not only to rally the nation to his side, but also because ordering large military strikes will make him momentarily feel like maybe his father would love and approve…

• Hands in photos already circled in gold sharpie to send to Graydon Carter

Robbie Tripp makes me feel much better about my body though. He clearly skips leg day, arm day and abs day at the gym. Also, he is ignoring a most important proverb; “Those in pink jorts shouldn’t post pics”.

“I love you in spite of the fact that everyone tells me you’re gross but I’m brave and generous so I stood up to them and married you anyway, even though for the rest of our lives, everyone we ever meet will wonder what I, a skinny man, could possibly see in you, a slightly less skinny woman. But I don’t care about…

A male feminist walks into a bar

He probably expects a gold star for putting his own socks in the hamper. It’s great to love your wife, you married her. But don’t expect to be treated like you healed the sick because you’re not making her feel bad about it. He wasn’t glorifying her body but asking to be glorified because he accepts her.

As a “curvy” chick (honestly, I like to just call myself a fat girl but people take such issue with that) I’m honestly turned off when a guy makes a big deal about being into curvy girls. I like all types of body types on a dude and I’m not making a point to fucking shout it from the rooftops.

Michelle Carter didn’t accuse anyone of rape or abuse though to my knowledge so that’s not really relevant here, is it? Obviously she is a monster and a sociopath.

I’m surprised you can both critically fail to read my comment to such an extent that you have a snowflake-level meltdown over an imaginary strawman, and yet also possess enough reading comprehension to be able to know what the Dunning-Kruger effect is.