It does sound a bit much, but the article also says says he just became a citizen. So imagine happily absorbing all of that pre-citizenship test educational material about "America the melting pot" and then (very abruptly) being reminded that it isn't actually true a lot of the time. I might be reading too much into…

Oh. My. God.

I've always thought it was pronounced more like "FOINE" or maybe "FOYNE"

I agree! As though we're supposed to watch 30 Rock and be distracted from Liz Lemon's rockin' bod and gorgeous face by the fact that her jeans are loose? TV doesn't get it, man.

<3 you.

I really like Nigel, except for his occasional case of the smugface.

That is what I was just about to say! That sentence needed to end before the "but." There is no but, there will never be any but.

Well said.

"Running tights" is a funny phrase, mostly it just refers to the material (and super tightness) of specially designed fitness leggings

But it's still President Obama who's planning super secret "death panels," right? Republican logic!

Right? Everyone's kid is a unique beautiful snowflake...until they inflict a "single" upon the rest of the world. That's one quick way to have your delusions of talent shattered.

God she's gross. I wonder if she's ever had to watch those videos about how her mink/fox/whatever pièces de résistance came to be (someone showed one in high school speech class and I'm still traumatized 7-8 years later. And I will never wear real fur)

Thank you for that, I didn't feel like bringing it up

That's where I died too! I really depend on kittens and puppies to make my day better these days

I did a Google search to see what our buddies on the far right were calling this situation—Sununu was the hero (obviously) and Soledad O'Brien was referred to as both a Liberal "muppet" and "water carrier." Whatever reality-altering drugs those guys are on, I want some.

You're the best.

And there it is. Love you.

It's Diplo, he's a DJ/producer/rapper (they even did a piece about him on NPR!)

My Grandpa once told me that he knew for a fact that God is left handed. I asked why, and he explained that God had to be doing everything with his left hand, because Jesus was sitting on his right one. It is one of my favorite terrible lefty jokes.

Sorry, just gotta scroll down here real quick to point out that he used DANIEL TOSH as an example of a comedian who's catering to the "female gaze of contempt." DANIEL TOSH.