So, in which Deadspin writer does the latent ability to win poker tournaments live? I’m going with Burneko.

So, we’ve all dropped the adoption thing? I know that was like four lies ago, but I lose track.

That may well be the best Jim Tomsula Lifehack of them all!

Her failure is like a gift from Black Santa.

Well, with Wenger leaving, someone has to take over the whining about pitch conditions. 

5'2" Trump already exists. It’s Anthony Scaramucci.

Or stay dry and just reading Piers Morgan’s Twitter feed.

That, along with the use of “tl;dr” is the mark of a dumbass.

The civil suits from the victim’s families will take care of that guy.

The civil suits from the victim’s families will take care of that guy.

That crushed our town when I was a little kid. We had so many huge beautiful elms, too.

Time for a talk with your headline writer.

I hope Maureen Dowd sees this.

The coast is clear for David Moyes.

On a more upbeat note, their CPAC keynote has already sold out.

Can we get Dan Savage to offer an opinion on this?

“… well look, you’re a grown man. You can probably figure out a woman’s cues from small talk, right?”

I want the tape to be discovered, but I never want to see it. Understandable?

“full disclosure: i never played soccer.”

Looking forward to his CPAC keynote on free speech.