For you, I express only disappointment.

Seems like you just suck at life in general, which is why you spend your days trolling on Gizmodo sites with replies that only you yourself think are witty. You really do think you’re winning.

No real hand in creating apartheid, but plenty of partaking in the rotten fruits of their ancestors’ labor.

Lighten up, Francis.

We’ve been in a cold Civil War since Reconstruction (sadly) ended.

You know what happens when public employee pensions are stripped? Here’s a hint: the money doesn’t go back to the taxpayers.

I don’t have a steak in this, but I just came here to rib you a bit.

Pretty sure Chad’s gonna be throwing appeal after appeal at his well-deserved sentence, so I’m not gonna hold my breath.

No clue what this numbnut’s major malfunction is.

In the loafers? I kid, I kid.

No problem.

I can tell this is outrage porn for you.

No. Your sister, who I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole attached to someone else’s ten-foot pole. Do try to keep up, skip.

Don’t be a dick.

Lighten up, Francis.

Go fuck your sister.

No thanks, I just got the hang of this whole “staying alive” thing and I don’t want to mess that up.

Because trolls, shills and bots generate a metric fuckload of comments from other people willing to shout them down. That drives clicks, leading to high user engagement and plenty of steady income for The Powers that Be™ running this place.

Can you fuck off already? Go bitch somewhere else.

You’re an embarrassment to Jalopnik. Now fuck off.