Yes, yes it would. And then you would have to purchase another "hand-grafted" tomato/potato monster. Evil botany geniuses they are.

Great. Now I can add "Hollywood produced paranormal pranks" to my list of public nuisances to avoid at all costs. As if flash mobs, choreographed marriage proposals and surprise returns of veteran parents weren't enough to make me want to go live in a cave.

Oh Violet, I do doo too in the public loo.

Forth of July?

A couple of decades ago women who were involuntarily held for mental health evaluations were expected to show a willingness to apply makeup as one sign that they were not a danger to themselves or others — as a requirement to be released. At least that's what they told me when I visited my mom in the state mental…

Russian vagabonds seem determined to maintain their dental hygiene.

Surely for James Franco they'd have called it a "bake" instead of a "roast"...?

Those bottles are not strapped to the dog's thorax!

When my daughter was six (in 1989) she had a skating birthday party to which all of her friends, male and female, were invited. One mother made a point of telling me that she thought it strange that her son was invited to a girls birthday party. I made a point of rolling my eyes at her and never speaking to her again.

Deen and her supporters should just open a slavery themed restaurant where all these white people can be nostalgic to their fetid hearts content.

Seriously, what was Clooney so pissed off about?

Y'all don't really understand beautiful history that southerners have with their dairy products. My grandpappie was so depressed when they set his butter sticks free that he drowned himself in a pool of pancake syrup. This here butter stick is like a son to me - a handsome slippery sexy son. That's why I made insisted…

Also, don't tell me about an experimental treatment you read about and regale me with your "medical industrial complex" conspiracy theories that highlight the "toxic" nature of the traditional cancer therapy I have already chosen to pursue.

It's not helpful because A) you are most likely comparing apples to oranges (even if your non-doctor opinion is that the things are "similar" chances are good that they are nothing alike) and B) it minimizes the devastation that my illness is causing.

I've done this with as many as 45 teenagers at a time every summer for the last 5 years. The coffee can method is just as messy, mostly because you can't see the ice cream inside so you have to open the cans to check on it. (Because they are teens they are both impatient and incapable of keeping track of time, so…

That was some ill-conceived b.s. and Catherine's response was 100% on target but you really must click to read the completely non-bullshit response from the PR woman who made the original request. Total agreement AND an apology.

You forgot to mention that everyone had placenta sorbet for dessert.

I suspect the photographer tried to get Bullock to put that apple in her mouth to complete the concept.

Then he got what he deserved. Stupid high fivers.

I really wish we could annotate that video. I'd like have the opportunity to name some of those amazing moves.