I know! Combat boots were sexy!

I think that might be the point? I dunno. Kids these days. I am just upset that “booty” is a thing now. I wish it had been when I was a young’un because I had an ass. A great ass. Now it’s just a normal bum like everyone has and I am jealous of the kids.

LiLo 2.0's making long strides towards that crash and burn. And she doesn’t even have the pedigree to fall back on...

What? You don’t know who Bella Thorne is. Seriously? This is a joke right?

From previous go-rounds of trying to figure out what this ridiculous- named woman does/is, I sadly now know she is an aspiring actress with a bad show on Freeform, nee ABC Family, which will almost certainly last much longer than any normal human would expect.

The coke is strong with this one.

Delicious! One place was Italian, the other was Irish, both were being staffed by some mobster’s Mama who liked cooking food from the Old Country.

Their target audience also includes the much-dreaded “we are on vacation but refuse to eat anywhere other than a chain restaurant” demographic that I despise so much.

Vagina of Sauron.

YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM, KNOWN FACTS OF EXISTENCE.

Depp, the Spellings, and other Rich People In Trouble should be studied as case histories of how we think of wealth in this society.

Ugh, I feel for the guy. Objective reality is constantly demanding that I live within my means. I just had to refrain from buying a load of fancy shit because empirical truth was all ‘Wisht, you literally don’t have any money, stop it’. CAN I JUST LIVE, KNOWN FACTS OF EXISTENCE

Not if they cost 3 mil and the estate isn’t paying it.

Why can’t perfume commercials ever be normal?

EVEN IF THAT’S THE “TRUTH” I feel hurt and CONFUSED that you would type these things?! Besides, do you want to see him in FEWER movies?!?!?!

Yes, I am not surprised in the slightest that he’s the type of dude to type business emails entirely in lowercase.

She was only ever hard on someone if the issue affected her personally.

I have a question that’s been bugging me all week- who thought Megyn Kelly was a suitable choice to host a Sandy Hook event? She’s a right wing pro gun barbie. I’m not American but I’m pretty sure I can come up with better choices for host.

You don’t invite Nazis to tea so they can wax rhapsodic about the final solution, you stab them in the neck.

And both of them are firmly of the belief that Obama’s farts turn frogs gay.