Kim’s face is longer too. Somehow, her philtrum has gotten noticably longer. Sure, she’s had a nosejob to shorten the tip, which can make the philtrum look longer, but hers is also actually longer. It looks so weird, she’s starting to look like a tapir. Soon that thing will become prehensile

Of course she can get plastic surgery if she wants, though I can’t help but think that she is trying to look like Kim.

It’s not right, but they do stuff like this all the time. They routinely oversell, which I guess is because some number of passengers miss planes for whatever reasons--sometimes because they cancel last minute, sometimes because they don’t make connections, sometimes because they miss planes. I’ve been told (when…

If you don’t show up you are still charged for the ticket, though (at least, that’s what happened to me when I missed a flight). So airlines just want to make twice the money of one seat, and I can’t summon up a whole lot of sympathy for that.

That’s United’s problem, not the paying passengers.

Its hard to get accustomed to calling her this since, so far, she’s only shown up about 4-5 times for photo-ops with foreign dignitaries and for that ridiculous official portrait that looks like something out of a 1990's mall Glamour Shots.

Melania Trump, our Foreign Lady Of Trump University Settlement? Workshop this with me, guys, I know we can figure out something funny enough to make the Trumpers stop saying “FLOTUS” about Melanoma.

Melania seems to have a similar aversion to the word.

When you get used to hearing “President Trump” it’s over.

A few days ago I was talking to one of my Dad’s friends. I am planning a reunion of my Dad’s college friends for his 75th birthday. This man talked only about how much he missed Michelle and her ‘natural beauty’ and her ‘calming presence’, her ‘clear head’. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t speaking out. 

I HAD THE EXACT SAME REACTION, YESTERDAY.

And it’s the first time I’ve seen the @SecondLady handle. I am too horrified at the prospect of who that might be to bother looking it up. SO GROSS I AM STICKING MY FINGER DOWN MY THROAT AS FAR AS IT WILL GO

The name should have been retired after Michelle left in the same way sports teams retire numbers when they stop playing

Fuck all of you Social Justice Warriors. Tarzan was about a white man who is raised by apes.

This thousand-page book will be written in less than a month, fueled entirely by coffee and rage.

I think we have a winner.

While I appreciate your concern, I make good English.

Staaahp.