That is the only reasonable way to eat this... thing.

Can “nom nom”s get a double pox?

Avocado fights are my favorite because it’s the one time in life I get to take no sides, no matter what. Can’t eat ‘em, allergic. Not die-immediately allergic but dead-in-a-day-if-it-weren’t-for-benadryl-and-nebulizers allergic. I am sure you all have fully valid reasons for your opinions but I have none. Even if I…

MIIIIIIKE

I don’t believe for one second Beyonce would be on that list.

Cotton candy.

http://gawker.com/rumor-doctor-p…

and he just keeps feeling around for it...

Get thee to twitter.

The gossip is that it’s one of the “ens” from the 90's diet drug combo fen/phen that killed people.

I always feel so bad for this one.

Preteen me would be dead over that acrylic gemstone lamp in Khloe’s house.

I can’t even get mine to wear a hat, and I thought babies were all about hats.

I adore mine but can’t imagine any reason for having a kid besides that you really really want a kid to love the crap out of. Any other reasons, especially those related to familial or societal pressure, will ring hollow when your little darling is sucking the entire life out of you.

Whatever you do, don’t try the fake wine. It’s awful.

Seriously, I’ve needed this phrase in my life for DECADES.

My former father-in-law used to watch me swim in the pool of the hotel where we’d stay when visiting them. So damn icky.

I was right, Dax Shepard is an idiot. Rickie Lee was dating Tom Waits at the time and one of his good friends was Chuck E. Weiss. *pushes glasses up nose, shuffles off to play Big in Japan*