New goal: Have a life where I can wonder on Monday what color nail polish I’m wearing this weekend. That or be the ice cream guy.

I would live with every single member of my family if I got to have a slide from the second floor to the pool.

The other brother called it a “portrait of designer sadness” or somesuch when the contractor talked about designing his bedroom around his dogs’ needs.

“No I’m just tired” as a response to that question is a headscratcher.

And she KEPT planning the wedding?

how have I never seen that glittery hood gif

Isn’t it odd? The photos from that show have at least 5 women crossing their legs in the front row.

I heart that analogy.

Messes with the surface tension.

I’ll leave the advice to the creatives. I’m sorry that your life feels small because from the outside it sounds awesome. You’ve made a massive advance in your mental health and continuing wellness, you have a great kid, you’re purty...

I <3 you.

A teeny drop of dish detergent raises the odds that they’ll drown in the wine.

I need more of your attitude today. I am cranky and so bummed out by bad job news from yesterday that I’m on-and-off weepy. Rejections always, always come on Fridays. *kicks pebble*

My girl once tried to do pilates with me! I guess when you’re on the floor you’re fair game.

Pet photos and baby photos. I never thought I would be that person but here we are.

In the video his smug face is nearly as good as her faux offended face.

I’m so sorry! I’m older than you and have been underemployed for a long time, and it sucks. I just got another rejection yesterday, after 2 rounds of interviews.

They’re getting disbarred for it too. #notallinvoluntarilyformerlawyersbutprobablyalotofthem

The first thing to remember about the Democratic party is that we will almost always find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s frustrating but also kind of expected from the party that is not built around subservience to authority and fear of the unknown.

Deray McKesson was there and is tweeting about it a little. He said it was extended from an hour to 90 minutes because the conversation was so “robust.” I respect anyone’s decision not to go but I’m glad that he did.