Do you think the monkey is thinking “Oh these little puppies. They’re so cute, I love them”? Cos I way prefer that to some dumb scientist idea who’ll try to put some lame “sciency” reason why the monkey is loving the puppies. Dumb scientists.

I do it cos the 1 or 2 bucks its costs for a song completely obscures my ineptitude at downloading anything for free. Im a total nufty when it comes to finangling anything. I’m essentially my mum (who just figured out how to order her groceries online. She wrote me an email about it, we skyped about it, she told me…

Also, stub hub that shit. We got 2 tickets for $60 each off stub hub on the day of the show. Then husband sweet talked a security lady into upgrading us to the floor then I cried and hugged her. STUB HUB Britney tickets everyone!!!

Umm, I went to that show on the day I got married and Britney is glorious and looks incredible. She’s the best. The show is really fun too. We were on the floor, right at the stage, so maybe the guy was super jealous of us WINNERS who got rained on with paper petals and casino chips that say “Britney Spears” and got…

I know right? Its like, who are you and what have you done with Tony Abbott?

I CANT EITHER!!! Can someone explain how to do it please?

People get desperate, and having gone through the VISA process to legit marry MY yank husband, its an expensive pain in the arse. In Australia, I was offered 20 grand once, to fake a marriage, so I'd be guessing its somewhere in THAT ballpark.

i know! Im trying to figure out how to be-friend in a more private internet way....

oooo, creepy. I know (via friend of friend of friend) a woman who openly uses her very disabled kid to raise money for CRAZY shit (a ridiculous “companion” pet being one of them) then, after the fundraiser, no pet/car modification/aeroplane chair/what have you materialises. But what can you say? Your situation is…

we all are. When my mum had cancer, she was so cavalier about the whole thing, never wanted to accept help, yada yada yada. The thing that gets me, if you’ve ever known anyone who’s had cancer, they don’t just shave their heads, but look the same. EVERYTHING falls out- hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, everything. Wouldnt…

yeah people just bought it because WHY DO YOU LIE ABOUT HAVING CANCER????? ITS F*CKING CRAZY!!!!

no, just a regular drunky :(

FUCK OFF!!! SAM!!! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!!!!!!

it was weird, cos usually I DO get hella cramps but only (what I call anyway) normal bleeding. Its like my body was all "soz about the mega flow, we'll sort it out by making it painless. Carry on".

Is your name Sam by any chance?

Not even terrible but (entire story NSFW)......Two days before my wedding, I got my period. My period is usually fairly well behaved- first day heavy, tapers off fairly quickly, lasts about 4 days total, move on with life. Not this time. We arrived in Vegas (Vegas wedding for the win) and had sex which made our hotel…

So, I (at one point in my life) kind of made friends with the former head of the Church of Scientology in Australia. Because I am normal, I am completely fascinated with the whole thing, so him and his wife took me down to the Melbourne campus (??) for an afternoon of Scientology fun. I was introduced to and taken on…

half fireball, half rum chata. They are disgusting.

Yep, me too. One of the best/worst jobs I ever had. How did he have some of the best venues in Melbourne? Did you know he's completely banned from going into the Lounge and Big Mouth?

No, but I might be aware of the Carlo you're talking about. There was a hell boss Carlo, but he was more of the Chapel street variety.