Murder and attempted murder is wrong.

“And then he stuck his neck into my mouth. He stuck his neck into my mouth ten times!”

No means no.

Was it the snoring, because it was probably the snoring.

YES! I thought it was just me who found him unfortunate-as-fuck-looking, but it turns out there are more of us! I will sleep safe in that knowledge tonight.

Great body, unfortunate face.

Vulva scarf needs a bold, woven white string dangling from the bottom.

Big Vulva was the meanest girl at my middle school. 

I finally feel validated. I’ve never understood the appeal.

He’s like a rough draft that could get there with more detail work from the sculptor. Or, as I like to think of it, a photo loading over a dial-up connection where the lower portion containing the body filled in first, and the head and face are still pixelated.

Let’s taco bout how warm that looks. Might get a bit clammy, though.

Take your star and GTFO.

I only wear that scarf when I want to look like a twat.

I think we’re only in danger if we download the images to our local hard drives.

I thought maybe there was a spider or a cop.

I blocked him but hung on to the texts/videos for awhile just in case. He 100% doesn’t know where I live. Thank goodness.

This is so real and is my constant nightmare. Dating is scary. Underrated story. I hope you blocked him right away and he doesn’t know where you live. 

He went full Federline.  Never go full Federline.

He hit puberty. 

Big eyes, slightly tilted head, confused smile, and the use of the phrase, “but I thought ...”?