Could I handle 20 hours on a plane? Depends. Do they sell Xanax by the pound? Could the cabin crew just kill me at takeoff and revive me upon landing?

I wonder how well the Seattle Cobains could run a shotgun formation

I’ve long figured that you don’t get to be the best of the best without something being “different” about you. You can’t just be a balanced, moderate human being and be able to do things 99% of humanity can’t do.

He cooled down.

“Rosin bag” is also Goose’s nickname for his scrotum. 

It looks like a bloody lowercase “Z,” if that helps you sharpen your imagination.

“Ravens’ fans current favorite son is a Floridian who obstructed a fucking murder.”

Got u fam

Appropriate for a bunch of jerk-offs.

So the Yankees are just going to mime giving a giant a handjob for the rest of the season?

I feel like the only thing you got right was counting to three successfully.

$850,000 sounds like a lot, but you have to pay up to maintain the sustained excellence of the Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin’ Cajuns. 

He’s a role model for every high school kid, surviving a cock block on the way to second base.

To be fair, I usually get teary-eyed when I see videos featuring the Arms of An Angel.  

He missed an opportunity to use "getting ran over by a Buss" for #59 on every list.

Surprised Philadelphia isn’t on there.

The Clevelander sounds like it would still be awful, but maybe with a touch of class too.  Like wearing a tuxedo while shitting on someones chest.

Small, little bone is my wife’s pet nickname for me.

We had our third non-losing season in 20 years, added a couple offensive pieces, and now our idiot fans thinks the Browns are going to the fucking Super Bowl.

reminds me of this