*The Eyes Have Hills

I assume he didn’t want to risk an injury that would prevent him from giving his post-game press conference in the really cool hat he had picked out.

None of them will ever have a more Viking name than Jan Stenerud anyway.

Kaare Vedvik? Daniel Carlson? The Vikings know they don’t have to pick actual vikings, right?

Yordan Alvarez And The Astros The Orioles’ Entire Season Made A Strong Case For Relegating The Orioles.

He looks like if the Mucinex mucus cartoon turned into a human and lived 60 years and then that human became a wax statue and that wax statue was reanimated by the soul of a recently executed serial killer.

Ok Matt may have the best submission I’ve ever seen.

Son of a Bichette!

As someone who has coached a shitty college team, I can confirm that yes, I had that exact thought process more than once while mired in that shitty, shitty season. It was rarely about clocking out at 5:00, though. Mostly, it manifested in my unwillingness to work the truly insane hours that you’re often expected to.

So, does a shitty coach of a shitty team ever think: “Hey, I’m going to suck whether I get 2 hours of sleep or 8 hours, so I’m clocking out at 5."?

Yeah, Crockett and Tubbs put an end to that shit years ago.

“This will be Year 3 since the most epic collapse in professional sports history...”

The Four Corners, with each base in a different state.

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

No, this is poetic:

Everybody knows people who won’t shut the fuck up about how much time they put into work, don’t sleep, etc.  They’re never actually better at their jobs.

Fueled by five or six 20-ounce cups a day from the Kuerig coffee maker that is an arm’s length from his desk,

I’m still not convinced that picture isn’t some kind of Weird Al parody shot from 1985.

Their parent’s nickname for the older brother is “the first pancake”.