Most people that hear this story are going to know that John bested Jim in the Super Bowl, so the fact that he tells the story, and then ends it with “have you won anything yet?” I an own in itself. The reader (you) automatically fills in the Super Bowl and Jim Harbaugh becomes implied punchline.

I’m guessing it already started.

So THIS is what Chaffetz gives a shit about? When I read the first article several weeks ago about him deleting his tweets I was hoping he’d get in trouble for it, but when I read the name “Chaffetz” I just rolled my eyes. Fuck them both.

The answer is not Trump. The answer is the Juice. In fact there is no question.

I also thought two men with mullets but it was early in the morning.

Does anyone else see two women going in for a kiss in that chart? Or is it just a vase?

He’s said a few times that this ban is just temporary so we can figure out what is going on and come up with solutions and a better way to vet the refugees. So I guess my problem with that is what has he been doing for the last two months? His first ban got knocked down and he didn’t do a damn thing to try to come…

I gotta say, posting an actual picture of your BA degree, and then countering criticism of that with a picture of your masters is probably the most obnoxious thing I’ve seen in a Deadspin comment section. So well done I guess.

Never leave us, Ashley.

Talk about alternating currents!!

Yeah, because when the U.S.S.R had a border around their entire nation that they guarded with troops and tanks and wouldn’t let anyone leave THAT was in the name of freedom and democracy. Not a dystopian world that eventually crumbled.

But he has almost no debt! Because he doesn’t need debt! Banks come to him all the time, Wallstreet banks, the big ones, offering him money to finance things and he won’t take it because he just doesn’t need any debt!

So he admits to not being able to understand how complicated healthcare is and in the same speech talks about how terrible it is and how he can see its future, and the future is bad!

That’s a fair position to take, but let’s also admit that he’s protecting his own interests by not wanting anyone to laugh at his players because of how that looks for his franchise.

Until Mark Cuban makes you take it down!

Oh I know that, but in the interest of saving time I just lumped him in there. He acts like a spoiled ass billionaire, but if he really was he’d release those tax returns to show how much $$$ he has and brag about how successful he is. But when his tax returns show that he only makes about $67,000 he won’t be able…

So after all that it turns out the Mark Cuban’s skin is just as thin as trump’s. Guess I should’ve realized that billionaire pieces of shit like trump, Cuban and Peter Thiel are all about the same.

It’s a very big animal, one of the biggest. And just so we’re clear, friends of mine, very important people, have said, Donald, we love this large animal where did you find it? And if I told you the names of the people that admire me for this large animal your jaw would drop. I mean you look at squirrels, and you…

The boy’s bathroom wasn’t a place you ventured into carelessly when I was in school. Especially middle school. During lunch there would always be a pack of boys in there fucking around causing trouble. I can imagine the kind of harassment a trans girl would get going into a boys bathroom.

It’s like Al Qaeda looking at ISIS and saying “settle down guys! There’s a line and you’ve crossed it!”