You ARE the only human. The rest of us are just in this earth to appease you.

I had this thought once that we perfected teleportation a long time ago but the general public isn’t allowed to know. So we get on a plane, they put some fake earth scenery out the windows which are just LCD screens that show what you would probably be looking at, and then they just hold your there for 5 hours and go…

What do you think happened to Amelia Earhart and why do you think NO ONE has flown around the world since.

I dumped in fake info and a fake email address. It didn’t check it.

Crayola has been a tremendous company, they’re doing wonderful things, and you look at what they’re doing with the yellows, and you look at what they’re doing in terms of...of...reds and so many other things. And you ask yourself, how are they doing this? They have the sharpener, and let me be clear that’s where the…

“We’re in 2017 — something like this should not happen in America.”

This Kinja is true Kinja.

I think eventually Ivanka is just going to come out and show her breasts to the presidents corps, and that will be the extant of any WH communication last time Donald Trump is seen or heard from.

I’ve always liked Time Magazine. They have said wonderful things about be, made me person of the year. They have a tremendous staff and they are doing very important things.

Fake news! Deadspin is fake news! I get my news from anyone who has nice things to say about me!

Yeah, I was guessing he would pick Bullwinkle or someone from Jersey Shore. And we’d be treated to 40 years of abs peeking out from under the robes.

Starred for “Wrecks Ryan”

These stadium bills keep getting more and more expensive. They could just cut their budget to...oh...say maybe a single fucking billion dollars and still have a perfectly nice stadium!

I’m still getting paid??

No, he just shit in EVERYONE’S pants. And he is very happy about it.

Go on...

He doesn’t even know how to smile. He just stretches his face into that contorted puddy monster look.

I really enjoyed this answer while some of the events were a little boring but there’s room for improvement! I hope they keep it going.

Coach K also said that until the team started performing better he would also be forfeiting his paychecks stating that “it’s a team effort that starts with [him].”

No...because the brown people.