Lawyers aren’t cheap.

More like Art Brired, amirite? Guys? *crickets*

Now that you bring it up, assuming Trump loses the general election (I’m no fan of Hillary, but [powerful deity] save us from Trump), who is he going to sue, for how much, and what reasons?

Yeah, that’s about $200,000 per day.

And if you’ve got a thing for Chargers linebackers you could also try PortmanJuniorSeau

Joey Bats bats, beaned, brawls.

Fuck you for being so right. Supervillain/evil genius aside, you’ve always cared so much about your employees that I can’t stay mad at you. Keep up the “good” work!

That’s all Drew sees too.

This is probably the best thing I’ve ever read on Deadspin. And I enjoy a heavy dose of Deadspin near daily. Thank you, Barry.

I did so many vigilante missions in the Apache helicopter that I maxed out my money at something like $999,999,999. It was like a glich that the cars I had to destroy just kept reappearing at the airport, so I just hovered for hours destroying cars and racking up money, which kept going up exponentially. It was wild.

My 2014 Fusion has the indicator lights on the side mirrors, which I never notice flashing. Last winter, though, we got an ice storm, and I had 1/2" of ice covering my entire car. Well with the ice there I could really see those babies flash! The whole mirror was blinking! I never notice it driving in normal…

Yeah it is, it’s listed under Homer. I had to use control F, but it’s there

Ah. I see. You’re trying to be that guy. Okay here goes. Football players are students. I know you like to think of them as commodities to be taken advantage of for your own enjoyment, but they are students. I know that there are some college athletes who are only in it for a trip to the NFL but the vast majority will…

Well they took it all back, but initially the NCAA came down pretty hard on the University. They took away 40 scholarships which really doesnt do too much to help the kids on those scholarships or the ones who might have received the scholarships. Then the 4 year post season ban hurts the University, sure, but it also…

Clearly though, there is something wrong.

If you follow the blue lines across the paper it looks like when you get to the Part on the right with the X’s it’s been crudely photoshopped to show the X X for President and First Lady. Like they’re legitimate handwritten notes from that log, but they’ve been copied to the wrong place. That’s my guess.

I was at the bank one time and this woman was there in tears trying to tell them that she had tried to withdraw more than $300 dollars and nothing came out. It was like her disability benefits or something that got deposited on a card, and it was the only money she had. They opened up the ATM and counted all the money…

No, that dress is white and gold.

I think the big difference is that Bill Beeelichick doesn’t care for media attention. Jerry Jones, on the other hand, much like Donald Trump, is a media whore.

I’m a lawyer, doctor, scientist, astronaut, fireman, police officer, and virtually any other occupation an 8 year old thinks is the only career path, and I don’t think that guy is really a lawyer either.