You do understand, though.

This is false. The total global population of migrants and refugees as of 2017 was 258 million, or just under 4% of the world population, or something like 80% of the current US population. Given the world we have, 19 out of 20 people still live in the country they were born in. Also, there is a negative correlation…

I don’t want to speculate too much out of turn but might it also have to do with the fact that half of her new project is unlistenable 30-second interludes, and the other half isn’t that great? I would not find it inconceivable that she inked the deal before the album and production staff found it underwhelming for…

You probably occupy the moral high ground but please understand we are beyond tired of being stepped on like this by the rich and this has shortened our patience and exhausted our capacity for mercy.

the last time a new model jet successively failed was in the 1970s, with the McDonnell Douglas DC-10. But rather than rounding up the 58 planes currently operating in the U.S—24 used by American Airlines, and 34 operated by Southwest—and hauling them into a volcano

Somehow “this” one is never the election to talk about the shit that matters to people who aren’t just like you. I guess we’ll just keep waiting for the next one, I’m sure nothing can go wrong.

Now accepting submissions for what Luka and Kristaps should be called together. All my ideas were dumb so I will not offer them for consideration.

Psh--the bank gave me a sweetheart deal on my auto loan, it’s rolled right into my mortgage. Cars and houses, two assets that only appreciate. 

Right on. Plus the value almost can’t be beat. That 2-meals-for-1 deal is so good, it makes up for any deficiency in the quality of the food, but that’s hardly necessary.

As another daily rider, I fully reserve the right to make fun of things that somehow manage to be worse than our home system. If you can make me choose the Red Line over whatever garbage you’re selling, it deserves to be shredded.

Dagny Taggart is a shithouse Dagny Taggart in her own right, to be fair.

This list sucks. Unless the movie is a car movie, no one is going to see someone climb into a car, fasten their seatbelt, adjust their mirrors because their daughter was driving it last, and then look both ways when pulling out of a driveway slowly.

Did...did you look up “sexy bird” gifs? Because you succeeded.

Yeah, I feel like people tend to ignore that sometimes there’s just a more right thing to do.

*Reversing a decade of my own contributions to mass incarceration to own the libs* is a new one.

Mildly interesting fact: there are neighboring towns named Londonderry and Derry in New Hampshire, in the States. 

This is good, but it’s too on the nose. It falls apart in the transition between the first two sentences. Try building up slowly instead, it might slip by someone.

jesus christ just take the train like a normal person, the planet is dying

That’s Kate McKinnon in prosthetics doing a really long bit...let’s see if she can stick the punchline.

He’ll still wipe the floor with this guy. Flake is making a calculation built on two premises: