I’m gonna save my not-all-Latinos-are-mestizo song and dance (feat. Whiteness is a Construct in which the Goalposts are Ever-Changing, feat. Afro-Latina Erasure) for another day especially because I think you probably already get it; but it seems clear that whether she has the official laminated white person hall pass,…

I could’ve saved myself a world of misery if I’d bounced the first time I realized my former bff was a shit tipper. Like, you’re gonna give the skycap guy your three checked bags bigger than my first apartment and not tip b/c you didn’t want to break a twenty? You’re gonna fight with me at the very IDEA that hotel…

I’m gonna need Stephen Miller to come get his sis.

Whatever else Joanie was, she was a company man. Her husband Alfred Steele was CEO of PepsiCo who owned Frito-Lay so of course she’d contribute to a Frito-Lay cookbook. I’d be surprised if this was her recipe —I can’t imagine she’d allow for the Fritos crumbs in the carpet if nothing else— but she was SO GOOD at that…

Johnny Guitar might even be my favorite Joan Crawford movie.

No one who says I Hate to Be That Guy has ever, EVER hated being That Guy.

“It’s like, I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I feeeeel...”

Did you really ever get beat by your mom/grandma/tia if they didn’t pray to Jesus to stop them from killing you WHILE they were beating your ass?

I lived a couple houses down from this dude for a minute, and although I don’t remember much about him specifically, IME the white American guys who retire to that area are very much Of A Type, which is one of the reasons I left. They’re almost all in Mexico to live large (ish) on a limited income, while still…

Yeah, it seems really more like she was looking for a distraction —maybe during a bad, rough, or just boring time in her marriage. It’s completely understandable but also a pretty dangerous road to go down and it sounds like this is the best possible outcome for both of you. It’s definitely possible for a married…

Y’all know Chuy?! Small damn world! If you catch him on the weekends he sells shrimp, too.

how am I the first person to star this? Do better, takeouters!

Come to my house anytime after Candelaria and let’s find out together.

The first recipe I ever got any sort of professional recognition for was a pain-in-the-ass carrot cake that I basically make once a year for the día de los muertos altar because I’d have to charge a bazillion dollars to make it worth the labor.

And I should clarify #notallstinkeyes are racist stinkeyes, but when the majority of stinkeyes you get are racist; the irritated-at-mariachi-music-but-otherwise-cool stinkeyes are hard to differentiate.

Maaan, I wish that were true. I mean, it’s probably ALSO true, and God willing it will someday be true; but what they’re thinking is“pinche racista” and moving on with their lives because being visibly Mexican in public —especially, I imagine, a mariachi which is a thing of respect here and a joke in the US— is just…

While I’m usually Pro-Glare in most situations, I think this could be handled more gracefully. “No gracias.”  or “No musica, por favor.” I think puts you more on the side of the angels than giving a dirty look to folks who are already probably getting a lot of ICE/Build the Wall/Rapist comments.

You’re gonna catch it when RihRih reads you saying Belgium played a 4-4-3 and not a 4-3-3 with father-of-at-least-three-of-my-imaginary-football-prodigy-children Romelu Lukaku playing false nine. [sighs dreamily in one of the 15 official or regional dialects of Belgium]

The one on VH1 in the late 90's? I unapologetically loved it! “This is the front; this is the back. Oh honey, I thought you knew!”

“Pee Soup” will go down in history as my biggest culinary disaster. I had a head cold and an urpsy stomach so I thought a bland cheese and potato soup would make me feel better. I did not notice the cheese I was using —a regional queso Chihuahua— had gone as off as it was possible to go. We ended up with a soup that…