BUY MY HOOKERMONKEYS...SUCKERS!!!!

Only from my experience, but I know lots of older Latinx voters who are suuuper socially conservative, even the ones who aren’t mega religious. Plus there’s the wild phenomena of the Shut The Door Behind Me immigrant.

Fair enough, but if we’re keeping a running tab of Dick Moves: Mexicans v. White People....

This is the correct take. If you’re buying tamales from a place that has a permanent roof, you’re doing it wrong.

Plus liability. My old job used to be pet friendly until someone’s ultra chill lapdog got startled and bit some idiot’s hand. The idiot 100% deserved to get bit, but he sued pants off our place and won.

nah, and there aren’t any weird bits of coarser peel in it, either. Once it freezes it all grates the same.

If you’re paying 500mxn for a taquito de tarantula you’re a sucker. I gotta guy with a ranchito, he’ll bring you all the scorpions and non-protected tarantulas you’d like for 200 pesos and a sweet potato pie. Scorpions are better anyway and you don’t have to singe them first. 

Can confirm. Like a shrimp-flavored potato chip but slightly sweeter and with a bit of earthiness like good river trout. Scorpions: ditto mins the earthiness. Chapulines (grasshoppers) are basically exactly like shatteringly crisp shrimp tails with lime, chile and salt, but you gotta get them fresh or they get a bit…

You’d think, right?! But no! Or at least it hasn’t damaged any of mine. The hardness is a lot closer to a very hard cheese than something like nutmeg. A friend who works at ATK turned me on to the idea years ago and it’s been a total game changer.

Have you tried making it out of ginger snow? Freeze the ginger whole, grate it on your microplane or smallest holes of a box grater into a mound of now and proceed. It practically dissolves into pure ginger juice with a few easily-strained fibers at the end. I’ll never squeeze room-temp raw ginger ever again.

1. The tears of your enemies

You’re right that there’s a ton of snobbery and steak snobs are the categorical worst, but sending out a well-done steak IS a crapshoot with a real chance of harm to a restaurant’s bottom line. Best possible scenario you get a customer who orders a 165° steak because they like everything about a well-done steak. If…

Chapulines are delicious, and scorpions are even better (but even more expensive unless you have a friend who will catch them for you.) Dry roasted or fried with salt and lime? Yes please!

Did you even have a childhood if you didn’t learn the choreography to the Chi-Lites’ Have You Seen Her from a bootlegged Brain Damaged VHS?

I adopted a sort of well-we-don’t-know-yet attitude, because well, we didn’t know yet

I could get behind a chocolate and wild mushroom mole, but I think she’d actually have to know a brown person to do that and although I refuse to click on her profile, I’m pretty comfortable in saying she doesn’t.

Okay, as a chef if I were given the brief “savory mushroom cinnamon rolls” I would play up the earthiness of cinnamon and go with basically a chunkier duxelles (caramelized onions, shallots, mushrooms) and add some cinnamon, maybe a breath of cumin and a lot of lemon zest for brightness. There might even be some feta…

Rule of thumb for any slur, but especially that one: It’s not for you if it hasn’t been used against you. You can’t reclaim a word that’s never oppressed you.

Fat people. I board early with my skinny partner because being a fat person being watching on a plane with people sending you their please-dont-let-her-sit-next-to-me vibes is incredibly dehumanizing. If I board early I get to save everyone the trouble of an awkward situation and maintain whatever little dignity is…

A few years ago I had some stale cornbread I wanted to get rid of so I blitzed it with cornstarch to a texture of slightly rougher than panko but slightly finer than homemade breadcrumbs, seasoned it up and used that as my dredge. Total game changer. I don’t do a lot of savory-side recipe development and this barely…