Folded over white bread sandwich filled with BBQ brisket, pickles, onions, and extra BBQ sauce. All y’all northerners can go fuck yourselves.

Pickles are fucking delicious with barbecue!

I’m going to be THAT GUY FROM TEXAS here. The only acceptable BBQ sides are:

Listen, and understand! Preston Garvey is out there! He can’t be bargained with. He can’t be reasoned with. He doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And he absolutely will not stop, ever, until you help that settlement!

Luckily, the A’s are used to other teams completely erasing their leads.

John Kasich is that guy one step above you on the corporate ladder who seems like a good mentor so you go out for drinks with him one day after work and he lays out his theory on ‘the blacks’ until you pretend your wife just called with a baby emergency.

Rajvir is a common Punjabi name that means “Lion King,” which is I think is pretty cool. Sikh name, kid.

This list is kind of like Cleveland. It validates stereotypes and a River runs through it.

Kasich is like that guy at work who seems like a reasonable human being when you meet him, but then later you find out he’s some weird masochism fetishist who likes being stung in the balls by jellyfish.

A new Bae has come.

Seth Woken

Good. If you’re an adult, feel free to be a guinea pig, treat, don’t treat, whatever.

This is why you teach your kids about consent as soon as you can. Always reinforce that “No” needs to be respected.

The patented box-and-none zone.

It is unclear whether sprinting on a home run is a violation of baseball’s unwritten laws, or counts as playing the game the right way. A meeting to determine the answer will be held following the next Springsteen show.