"Don't be a woman." - advice on moving to Texas.

Okay! This is the most civil resolution to a dispute that I've ever seen in a comment section, and I'm proud to be a part of it, LeComedyGeld.

Slightly off topic, but every time I see "USMNT" I read it as "United States Mutant Ninja Turtles".

Um, Will Leitch is an editor emeritus at Deadspin, and he often is referred to as the Emeritus on the site. I grew up near his hometown in central Illinois.

It may be stupid, but it's true. I grew up in 'soda' country and live in the south now. One of the strangest exchanges I remember having when I first got here:

It's not quite right to say that Indiana is nothing more than Ohio's gunt; it's also Chicago's outhouse. It's a place where the Midwest's choicest townies and Klansmen gather to make babies out of wedlock, give handjobs to exhausted truckers, and root for white basketball players. Indiana is a tire fire that never…

I don't know...it seems tasteful, Mom understands it about as well as she could, and it seems to be giving comfort to a lot of people that have gone through the same thing. I'm not saying that everyone should do this, but it seems like one of the most positive instances of over-sharing I've heard of.

Yep. I saw today's news, and I actually felt bad for him for the first time.

I'll bet there's some truth to that—it seems like you'll get in more trouble for crossing MLB than for actually failing a drug test. I don't know the details on the Ortiz situation, but I'll bet he played nicer with Selig than A-Rod has.

Because Bud Selig hates A-Rod with the intensity of a thousand suns. Which makes this one of the only times Bud has really had his finger on the pulse of baseball fans.

I think the correct question would be: Can you accurately predict how far you can punt a football?

Boy, it sure is a good thing they can come up with technology that will actually get people interested in the NFL.

I'll admit that my initial anger over the whole thing has evolved into the realization that we certainly got the best 11 years of his career. I can't even be mad anymore.

I've never seen an artist's rendering of the Penqueninos before. Good stuff!

Ah, I dunno. Sometimes it's nice to have something random and harmless to get worked up over.

Your screen name even sounds like a rim-shot!

As a baseball fan, this is why I get most of my baseball coverage from the Internet and MLB Network. After years of complaining about how my favorite sport never gets covered on ESPN (sorry hockey and tennis fans, I just didn't realize), I was overjoyed to get MLB Network. I've gotten to stop bitching about it!

Slightly related: I have a neighbor that constantly tells me, "You look tired." Whether I'm actually tired or not. Pisses me off to no end. I want to tell him, "Well, you look stupid. At least I can take a nap."

Not at all! And he's a Saluki!

Stay classy, MichaelDean!