True.

Actually, "My mom BOUGHT the Ferrari." has a much better sound. ;)

Costco gas, for whatever reason, makes my mpg rate go down, by about 15%. Perhaps it's the amount of ethanol? I have no idea. But I'll never buy Costco gas again.

Who uses video tape?

In the express lane, after using at least 5 coupons, with 6 more than the allowed amount of items and arguing about the price of at least 2 of them.

I do, even when I'm on a motorcycle and go 1,300 miles in 19 hours...I pay cash. I threw the credit cards AND debit cards away over a decade ago. I'm much happier, less paperwork in my life and best thing of all? MY spending doesn't make a bunch of douchebags money. :) I like that part. It's also because there is NO…

Who the hell pays cash for gas?

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking. And, they're following way to close if they think the guy's going to get into an accident. They didn't exactly give themselves much room to avoid a collision.

My 48 Dodge has a good-working park brake. I use it all the time, but sometimes I can feel the car creep if I don't cinch it up nice and tight. It's the old-style park brake that wraps around the drive shaft.

A hero is born. Now he just needs to learn how to use the damn park brake.

My neighbor was unloading an E30 off a U-Haul, 4 guys pushed it back off the carrier and it started to roll backwards towards the brick wall in the alley faster than anticipated (good wheel bearings, I guess), so I ran like Usain Bolt, flung open the door, and did sort of a weird swing to get inside and pulled the…

I had a '99 Durango (Hey, I bought it to use as a tow vehicle) for a very short period of time which I had to have the tranny rebuilt in (oddly enough.) anyhow, I learned the hard way that it didn't stay in park.

As much as I don't want to respond to this attention seeking crap, it needs to be known that you go to a "pubic" high school.

My favorite non-save:

Okay.... I'll mention my bad save here. . I used to have a tennis ball hanging from the roof of the garage, so when I backed in and touched the ball with my back window, I knew I could shut the garage door without hitting the car and having as much room behind the car as possible..... Then I bought a convertible. I…

I have two harrowing tales of runaways, and only one is utterly and completely boneheaded.

A hero is born. Now he just needs to learn how to use the damn park brake.

A friend sent me the Youtube link last night, so I didn't see it there. If you have a tip, don't hesitate to send it in to tips [at] jalopnik [dot] com! Thanks!