Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Dear Universe,

"I like my face. I do. But it sure could use one more hole in it."

Me too. I think I missed a memo.

Guys like this, and we've all met at least one, are simply terrifying. Can you imagine actually being his girlfriend & saying you don't feel like having sex? You'd be taking your life into your own hands.

Ditto.

This is like some strange off-brand Taylor Swift performing Taylor Swift karaoke, which I suppose is pretty meta. In-Swift-ion, maybe?

She had me at Magga-nuts.

+1 for use of the word "culottes".

But what brand of cream? Which is it? Is it milled oat, sun bleached bone, or abandoned beach house?

Oh wow... my ex-husband was a passive aggressive sender of spread sheets. (I can't believe there are actually 2 of these asshats out there.) There's nothing like a little Barry White and a spreadsheet of your shortcomings to put a woman in the mood.

Where is your patronus now?!

I mean, right? Like how come it's all Parks and Recreation when everyone knows the Department of Public Utilities is so much more demographically representative?

Tonight on Hannah Montana... Creepy Uncle Terry.

What could go wrong?

I 100% concur with GingerIsAConstruct that not casting January Jones is just a joke. All that aside, these reviews are some of the best I have ever read in my life. IN MY LIFE!!

I went to a university, was both assaulted and raped on campus, reported it, and *nothing* happened. I mean *nothing*. All events were brushed squarely under the rug. Not so much as a slap on the wrist.

And yet, I take umbrage when men make completely generalized, often false or grossly simplified assumptions about women.

Two words I haven't uttered in at least 30 years: