my last job was cum analyst

Is 2017 the year Deadspin writes nice articles about the Cardinals or something? I do not like this new Deadspin.

Funerals/wakes whatever you want to call them are celebrations of life. Celebrate. Remember the life and times you had with the deceased or celebrate friendship with the person mourning.

I think if you were super-close with the deceased, and you can’t handle it emotionally, then you don’t have to go. The way it was presented above (“I don’t do funerals”) sounds dickish.

that’s not fair. my dad was an abusive jerk and i refuse to go to his funeral when he dies and either lie and say he was some great dad when he was a piece of shit to my mother and sister and i could tell everyone what an abusive shit he was and how i’m glad he’s dead. you don’t always “put the crap away for a day”…

My uncle passed away last summer, and his funeral was anguish. It was hot, he was someone who got along really well with everyone in my big, weird family, and he had seemingly beaten the cancer before it had returned. It was an absolutely devastating morning. But then we all ate lunch together and reminisced. Even if…

Always Go To The Funeral

My brother tried to pull that shit at my grandfather’s funeral. Grandma wrote him out of the will. He showed up at the other grandparents funeral real quick. He is a scumbag.

Yeah, one thing I’ve learned as I’ve grown older - you should go to funerals of people you know whenever it’s not a major inconvenience (though if they’re really close, then you go anyway). Their families really appreciate it. If you “don’t do” funerals, you need to get over yourself - nobody fucking likes them.

Roland Capers sounds like the name of a college point guard...

Let’s talk about toys that make you go WTFFFFfffffffff

By the way, C is the only letter in YMCA that is not symmetrical, which makes it the trickiest letter of the bunch. Makes you think.

I hear Phil Simms might be available

Replacing your top guy with a total amateur is now the thing that America does with its most important jobs.

Reminds me of an Onion article where Jared Leto thanks acting for being something easy that everyone can do.

Nantz: Aaaannnd we’re *back*.

I’m torn between “this is bad because there are proven, veteran analysts on CBS who all just got leapfrogged by a big name with zero experience” and “HAHAHAHAHAHA BUH-BYE FEEEEEEEEEEEL”

I mean, he can’t be much worse

So with a 6-8 week recovery period that would mean he will be ready for the Conference finals right?