Dude’s not wrong. Weddings, in general, are bullshit. Last one I went to, (a union between two large, well-off, Catholic families) cost a legit fifty grand.

Belichick is just afraid his deal with the crossroads demon doesn’t cover acts of god(s). Perfectly legit fear really.

I was seriously expecting this article to be some batshit stuff about A-Rod, mentioned in passing, since he has this rep as a complete weirdo. Instead, I feel kind of happy for him that he got away this lady.

How do these people not break their everything doing this stuff? I know I’m old and in shitty shape but I winced so hard I think I pulled a muscle just watching that...

I’d give it another try, the finale comes together beautifully.

Wait, this list is definitely missing someone. Someone with offensively shitty takes on sports. Also food, fashion, and a whole host of other subjects.

I know what’s definitely NOT on this list:

Are you me? Because JP was my favorite book in the entire world when the movie came out, and I still have forgiven neither Spielberg for cutting out all the interesting parts of the book in favor of a bunch of ‘Hey look kids, dinosaurs!’ spectacle, nor Jeff Goldblum for ruining my favorite character from the book.

And what appeared to be either a pair of Cousin Eddie’s shoes or a set of Steph Curry’s signature granny kicks.

This complaint should be legal grounds for this man’s children being taken from him, emancipated, and placed in Witness Protection. There is no other remedy for the amount of ridicule he has brought down on their heads.

I feel like Ed may slowly be recovering his smarts. He’s nowhere near on form yet, but:

Goodman can be quite menacing when required. Barton Fink and the bits of Fallen when he’s possessed spring to mind.

To quote another poster from a previous article, if Universal wants to make this work, they should just get Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, pretend the second two Mummy movies never happened, and have Rick and Evy fight their way through the rest of the Universal monsters.

I can never decide if I think Osteen looks more like Martin Short playing a scummy televangelist in some awful 90s comedy, or Martin Shkreli’s douchier cousin who somehow found a more morally reprehensible way to get rich.

Eh, Sia was already in a movie this year where her character walked around bottomless the whole time. What’s the big deal?

Is this one of those Mandela Effect things? Maybe Cam is from a universe where the boat never sank. Or one where Titanic is an Oliver Stone film about how the Titanic’s badly damaged sister ship the Olympic was substituted and deliberately sunk in the biggest insurance fraud in history.

Hmmm, that’s not moving the needle on the outrage meter. I’m no fan of cops, but you decide to get falling down drunk in public, you forfeit all right to complain about consequences.

Nah, that was Burneko’s fault.

I feel like Blake Griffin would come dressed as Jackie Moon.