I thought the secession petitions were moronic because all they did was waste the time of another federal bureaucrat who had to respond to their silly and frivolous requests - something surely the likely-conservative, small government petitioners would oppose.

Wallpaper-quality of the above photo? Gracias.

More evidence it is the most reliable car ever, my 2006 4Runner has avoided the cavalcade (I was going to say tidal wave and then realized that would be a really poor choice of words) of recalls.

Vanquish I think . . . hateful color whatever it is*.

Near vehicular perfection.

That car could cost $150k and I'd buy it (if I had the money). So much win. Looking forward to seeing it drive around NoVA.

GOTD?

Audi B7 RS4 in all its iterations. Because RS4 Avant. The ultimate all-rounder. B7 because it's best of the lot.

"Mr. Donatello-Leonardo-Gandolfini, your Infiniti is waiting out front . . . "

I'd be happy to help move Jalopnik to Virginia. We're less disaster prone, have a pretty sweet International Raceway, and let's be honest, the government puts half their secret shit here - if it's secure enough for them, it should be good enough for you. We'll probably even give you a tax credit - hell, we gave the…

I think iOS is getting long in the tooth and could use a change (especially on the skeuomophism front), but Scott Forstall personally responded to an e-mail I sent him when I had a problem with my iOS 5 install, so that was nice. I wish him the best. I'd just retire and play golf, but I'm not him.

I think they should use American Gladiators names. Hurricane Nitro - now that's a hurricane that people will heed evacuation orders for.

COTD for sure.

My roommate once sent me "Do you like it when my cock is inside of you?" Clearly meant for his girlfriend, because he knows I probably would find that unpleasant. I saved it to show my other roommates so we could all join in the laughter and derision, then deleted it.

One of those strikes actually happened but the home plate umpire managed to have a worse strike zone than Jim Joyce's the night before.

"DECISION BASED ON CONDUCT DETRIMENTAL TO FOOTBALL"

That's typically what happens when bands make freakin' awesome music.

1) 2013 RS4 Avant - you know, the forbidden fruit

My iPad already runs pretty slowly on iOS 5, so this is probably a good thing.

The India Special was less than great, but I felt this season was tremendously good - the best one in a few seasons.