If someone could just give him a chance, the NFL's biggest asshole would easily belong to Michael Sam.

This crime is fucking unsolvable.

I guess we now know the South African equivalent of yelling "BABABOOEY"!!!

"I half understand trading Jimmy Graham. But Max Unger? You don't trade Max Unger."
-Chip Kelly

You can't tell from the picture, but his belt is actually on the inside of his pants, and he's wearing his shoes on his hands.

Safe to say Rahier was
*Removes sunglasses*
*Pops in VHS copy of Shawshank Redemption*
*Sits on Couch*
*Sees Andy Dufresne*
*Morgan Freeman's character enters scene*
Seeing Red.

I need an Hieroglyphist to read these tweets.

This guy could stand to learn a lot from another legendary bruin, Winnie the Pooh.
Because if Winnie The Pooh as taught us anything, it's that you don't need to solicit Romanian chicks on twitter to get to the honey pot; you just have to rock an ill-fitting polo shirt and no goddam pants.

They're hiding him at the top of the NL Central standings, where no one in Chicago will EVER think to look.

"We don't give a fuck, we're actually Yankee fans."
-ISIS

Poor guy, seemingly always in front of the 8-ball.

I'm 100% convinced that inside Derrick Rose sits a squirrel, trying to pilot a craft that is above the current license he is outfitted for. And sometimes he gets the hang of it, but other times the steering cable sticks, the A/C doesn't work and the tranny gets gummed up from double clutching and his pilot goggles get…

Damn, I'll issue a correction.

Finally! Direct evidence in support of the theory that it is indeed not CO2 that is negatively effecting the climate, but in fact the shooting game of the Philadelphia 76'ers.

How much does Tom Ley charge for his clown services?

Limberwolf.

This is an amazing feat, considering magic has been banned outright in Alabama.

By the way, a galactic FUCK YOU to this movie for inspiring four billion thinkpieces from the Problem Internet.

Ordinarily this would call for a Carusian-like comment : "Looks like this is one guy whose son is setting."

The key to the city of Compton.