Don't sweat it. Who hasn't finish a night of partying by posting bizarre rambles on Gawker sites? Boring people, that's who. You had some good ideas, too, sort of. Boomers are a lot more complex than the hippie stereotype they get slapped with. But that's a popular image for a reason, and any attempts to downplay the…

Drink less or more, you adorably incomprehensible ball of misdirected rage.

PLEASE MAKE ONE OF THE BRUNETTE SAYING "well I thought it loked like a dildo but I have never seen this kind of thing off the end of it" or

Madonna just pissed she caught shit for a similar thing with a low cut top back like twenty years ago at the VMA or some award shit I half watched due to —— reasons....

Chelsea Peretti is adorrrrrrrable.

Now that even grandmas in Washington have beaten me to the glitz and glamour of the marijuana lifestyle, I really need to run out and get my California weed card, already.

I don't think this is doing enough to make everyone feel old.

Wow, that Corgi/cabbage thing is a bit of soul-searer, isn't it?

Listen Mark. Just keep your panic attack havin ass at home if you want to smoke weed. YOU ARE RUINING EVERYONE'S GOOD TIME.

For future vasectomy recipients, don't do what I did, and go out drinking the instant you get your clothes back on.

Here's another interesting take on ball surgery.

That line was "Fat chicks need love too, but they gotta pay."

To Chris Brown and the child molesters...

Not sure when "this" will be done with Jezebel but we will never be done with "this."

How many more stories until this is done with Jezebel?