This looks like it smells like my grandma.

Yes they are.

You’d think with his fog lights on he’d have seen those people standing there.

I rode in a 4-door Wrangler thanks to a morning-after Uber ride (manual, no less). The ride quality and visibility of the Wrangler was poor. Of course, I was hungover/still drunk, and I would have preferred something cushier. But I got laid the night before. And again that morning. And I was riding in a Wrangler. I…

So.... Mythbusters?

You’re right, I wouldn’t want to be caught dead in a Mitsubishi.

“I drive a Mitsubishi”

For pole-vaulting over speed bumps.

The previous generation Genesis coupe was such a looker. They ruined the whole front half of them with that update.

I saw a new Maxima on the road today. Ugly isn’t enough of a descriptor. It was fugly.

It slices! It dices! It makes julienne fries!

That also means we can’t add spoilers to create downforce and increase the cars’ traction.

How good are these 8- and 10-speed transmissions at gearing down in a hurry - like to avoid an accident or catch a yellow light?

Cow catcher: standard.

A sporty wagon

Take a back road or the long way. With this method, the only assholes you’ll have to deal with are the deer.

That would require them to be paying attention to what’s behind them, which I’ve found they aren’t doing since they’re cruising in the hammer lane. Or to realize what you’re trying to communicate. If you know what it means, chances are you wouldn’t be hanging out in the lane in the first place. Sure, it works in…

You can drive and work on your tan at the same time!

That’s probably not the series of letters you were expecting after that colon.