This is the worst episode of Ballers ever. 

What kind of moron sends threats in a GROUP text?  

Bill Belichick will sign him next week and he'll be a three-time All-Pro for New England

Blue Jackets fan here since the day they were announced, so man, this felt good. 

I called the cops on Deadspin when they banned me way back when, and the police just told me that I was actually in a Wendy’s so I got a baconator and everything was fine.

I don’t understand why he didn’t wait until June 9th to announce this.

You are there to answer some damn questions.

Does anyone in L.A. even remember, let alone care, what Carter cost?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: stop hiring male coaches for women’s teams. There are women out there who want these jobs. Women who have actually played the fucking sport. 

The frightening thing is that the idea that better off people deserve to be paid more because it’s what they’re used to really is how these assholes think. 

Let’s Remember Some Dives

DREW I HELD MY POOP IN FOR WEEKS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK SO I CAN HAVE A GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY

How is Ovi being allowed to play when he’s still drunk from last June?

As someone who has looked Roy Halladay dead in the eyes via my young brothers Sports Illustrated For Kids posters I’m 100% confident he wanted to be inducted into the HoF as a member of the Phoenix Coyotes.

I know this is completely against how things work today, but one could just stay quiet. There’s no law that you need to send out a tweet, or a post, or anything. Express your grief to others close. Keep it personal. It’s not hard.

Cheer up. You probably always make the short list.

They should just put Gritty in net, it’s the only outcome that makes any sense.

‘Hockey wisdom’ used to hold up as fact that a player hit his peak at 27-28, that that was a player’s prime, but actually, simple research shows that in terms of production, 22-24 is the age when a player peaks.

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS